By Keely Spell
Here are two pictures of me. One leaning back and one sitting up. Normally I would never share the one sitting up — the one with my belly rolls. Sharing these photos for anyone to see was a huge stretch for me. In my past, I would never sit up on the beach must less let anyone see a photo of me doing it.
My whole life I hated my body. I talked to my “self” terribly. I’m not curvy. My shoulders are wide and my hips are narrow. I don’t have a waistline. My boobs sag. My ass is flat. I’m not sexy. I don’t look like those girls in playboy or any of those other magazines.
That was my “story”. And I believed every single word! Is it true? Truth is different for everyone, and it looks different to each of us because we each view life from our own perspective. That “truth” was mine. It’s the bullshit story I learned from society and observed from my parents and was fed by the media.
You are not enough!
But no more! I’m done with that lie! I am over comparing myself to others. I am over media, the movies and the modelling industry setting the standards for what’s beautiful!
I am 46 years old and my body is different than your’s. So is my story.
I know I look healthier than some people, but this is my body and to me, I’m not in the shape I want to be in. I did Crossfit and yoga for two years and was in the best shape of my life, but stopped because of an old neck injury. So I’ve lost quite a bit of the muscle I worked so hard for. The shape I am in now is not as good as it was, and I have beat myself up mentally and emotionally for it for four months!
I’d say terrible things to myself: Look at all the fat on my belly! My ass is gone! Look at my legs jiggling!
Horrible things! And, I’ve even done it in front of my child at times! What have I done to her? The same thing that was done to all of us. I’ve given her the message that how I look isn’t good enough. I see the damage it’s doing, too. I’ve heard her say negative things about herself and she is only fourteen!
It has to stop! It stops now!
And here’s how…
My new story is one of acceptance and self love. I’ve been trying something new and I’m inviting you to do it with me. I stand in front of my mirror and accept and love my body. Even my belly rolls! Seriously.
I have written down positive affirmations and I am saying wonderful things to and about myself and my body. I touch my belly and tell it I love it. I’m admiring each part of myself. I will continue to do it until I genuinely love every part of me because I know that this body is simply a vessel that houses what’s most important, me (the soul) and my beautiful heart.
I know my worth as a person and I see my gifts that I have to offer this world. My body image is one area that needs special care. I want to honour and take great care of my vessel, but looking at and speaking to it like its a piece of shit isn’t motivating it to serve me or my higher purpose here.
But my new story and my new truth does!
If you relate to this, I invite you to join me on a new journey of true love and total self-acceptance, and getting into awesome shape because it makes you feel great and healthy… not to look better for the acceptance of others.
You are all beautiful, special and have gifts to offer. Accept yourself so you can in-turn accept others and live your life from your heart and stop comparing yourself to others.
I see you. I love you. You deserve to be happy — and healthy!