By Julie Sichlau MOONS & STARS

The Words Within My Moon — Fear Isn’t A Good Enough Reason To Quit

goat

By Julie Sichlau

“Your moon sign holds the key to your deepest emotional needs”
—Ruby Warrington.

My Sun

My inner stubborn goat keeps prancing forward. Loving the words hard labour, he’s pushing me to keep on going. He does not stop. Always at the back of my mind, impatiently seeking ways to do more, work harder, accomplishing one goal after the other to perfection. He’s less concerned with the outcome here and now, and more with the grand picture, the collective pieces and energy of the Oneness we are seeking. He’s less affected by the labour itself — maybe he doesn’t even care what I do — but he’s always there to make me show up, over and over again…

Making me feel the cold sense of guilt if anything is too easy. Leaving me wondering of the potency of the moment. Reminding me that the wisdom of the Universe is inexhaustible.

For the goat, there is no top. No point where his journey ends and his job is done. There is no going back hiding in the past, only forward, only higher and higher towards the light and the cool breeze. He rarely stops for eating. He rarely feels pain or retreats into the dark.

No stranger to life’s realities, what is tough does not scare him off. Instead his abilities to reflect, knowing who he is, keeps him motivated. He keeps me motivated through life’s ups and downs. He inspires me in depths I cannot explain. He is a sea-goat that swims the depths of subconsciousness, my subconscious. Blessing me with determination, steady intuition and a balanced heart. He knows about endurance and responsibility. He can smell the fresh air in the mountains — he serves the grand purpose of striving and making things happen.

Unbreakable, sound and resolute, he made up his mind long ago never to leave my side and to make sure that I will never be sluggish or loose sight of motivation. He teaches me never to jump across fearful waters or engage in deceitful encounters.

He shows up. So I can show up! And with devotion he is by my side so I can do the creative work the Universe has intended for me.

That is why he is my sign, that is why he is my sun, my masculinity, my strength and back-bone. My sense of an alternate ego or Self if you wish. And this is my promise to my Capricorn. I know that you would never quit on me and I promise that I’ll hold you, I’ll take care of you when you can’t hold all things together anymore or keep the fast pace. I’ll never leave your side or break the bonds between us. I promise.

My Rising

Rising with a beautiful lioness in the Eastern horizon, ever since I was a little girl, my appearance in this world has been confident, strong and with an urge to roar my heart’s true words and desires. Staging a fierce charisma and loud, blasting sexual presence, my Leo rising never fails to attract attention (when she wants, I might add).

What is so amazing and inspiring with this four-legged Goddess creature is how she pushes me to be self-aware and conscious of how I act and of my affect on others. Always pushing me to be seen at my best behaviour. Though her fire lights and continuously ignites a hot, flammable temper within my deepest pools of insecurities, jumping way too fast and too furious to conclusions (hurting people that are close, too close for me to wear that mask.)

As she is sometimes stubborn, hot-headed and proud, she is also playful, warm and free-spirited. She is an adored dreamer. I adore her. I adore her traits within me. She urges me to dream and never let go of the creative processes, telling me the story, showing me the story, playing out the story on a big stage with her as the grand performer. And as my golden muse she keeps pouring creative energy into my life. Into the very nerve of my existence.

She sparkles my grey and dusty road with glitter and stardust. She lights my heart with confidence and self-worth. Never leaving my side, guiding me across the yellow and green plains with eagerness, persistence and a motherly love.

She roars deep within me anytime a moment gets a little dull. She wants to have fun, asking me to throw a party, where she can be the centre of attention. Where she is on the stage, spreading her words of love, and healing on this planet. Where life is celebrated in the most glorified, pompous and over-indulged way.

She is a warrior and a Woman. She is energetic and enthusiastic. She is my rising sign and my inner Goddess. She teaches me never to become too serious in the matter of life. She teaches me to be a free spirit and to word my truth. She teaches me that being a woman, a playful Goddess and a sexual being is just as big a part of me as the intellectual, creative and reliable human I am. I remind her that she doesn’t have to perform to be successful or valuable.

My Moon

Not too long ago I was acquainted with my zodiac soul. My emotional longings, my deepest wounds and spiritual authenticity. It’s my moon, it’s my Aries attraction. Another four-legged bull buster with an oh so soft exterior. I haven’t paid much attention to this dark underworld of my soul and my ancestors before – not on a conscious level anyway. Maybe I wasn’t ready. Maybe I worked on this side of myself in a subtler manner. Maybe strictly unconsciously. But it is time to welcome this mysterious creature of my emotional tides into my life. As it has always been there. Even before my very existence.

In the past looking in the mirror hasn’t always been pretty. Could I agree with what I saw? Doubtfully. Could I explain why I did what I did? Questionably. Wondering how to combine what was with what is, Aries takes action. It looks less peculiar now that every action I have taken in my life has been nicely and admittedly conveyed by my emotions. Now I realise where my instincts come from. My eagerness, my confidence in the existence of a better way.

Aries is a warrior too, he doesn’t care if I like him or not. A quality that teaches me lessons far beyond self-acceptance. I don’t care if you dislike me or disapprove of me. But I do care about you. I care immensely.

I would fight endless battles for your dignity. Even if you don’t love me I will still be here. These are the words deep within my moon.

My moon teaches me about fear. He shows me how deep some emotions and fears are intertwined. Though even in the darkest hour of ruthless anxiety, my moon shines so beautifully bright and illuminates the path forward. Fear is simply not a good enough reason to quit. But as tough as I may believe that I am,  I’m reminded that I don’t (and actually can’t) live this journey alone.

For more self-study, The Urban Howl recommends A Witch Alone (Thirteen Moons to Master Natural Magic).

Photo

Photo: Sergio Silvestre

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SPREAD THE MAGIC:
Julie Sichlau

I am a yogini traveller of this beautiful path, a goddess, the spiritual matter of consciousness. Breaking free, being wild is my top priorities. My intentions are deeply founded in the ocean of my heart. Every new moon I let magic unfold and draw stars to set new intentions. I am a sensitive being, avoiding harsh relationships and situations. I don’t back down when I am being pushed but I rarely push you away. I’d do anything to ignite my passion and to express what I believe in, but I do it so subtle, with so much love and ease, you wouldn’t even imagine the message came from me.

  1. Gorgeous writer! Honey injected with lightening! Aho, sister! XOXO

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