A quiet, strong voice, barely perceptible curves its way over my skin like water over moss rock, like red lipstick, like the smell of wet Jasmine. Beloved… beloved…
Inside my heart it is twilight and the shadows long. The last bit of heat from the summer sun radiates off the red rocks of my hidden self. There, down the sandy path, I can make out the day-old tracks of some large animal. Perhaps it is this beast who inhabits my body in breathy pants and guttural moans in moments when I forget myself. This one of me slips out sideways.
I follow the scent of Jasmine, and the large animal tracks, and the lengthening shadows. I feel as I do with a new lover. Both hungry for contact, and terrified. Drawn by a lure much, much stronger than me, farther and farther away from land I recognize.
I realize I can’t stop. I’ve come too far. I’ve fallen in too deeply. There’s something about the way the evening breeze moves through me that warms my blood. I notice everything, as if it were new. Every bloom and cacti. Every sound. The beauty-shape the whole makes together. There is nothing – absolutely nothing – that could turn me around. I am fully, totally, and completely undone. Naked to the very forces that beckon me onward.
All is foreign to me now, down that sandy path, and around the corner of my consenting self. The twilight has surrendered to the night. I look at my hands. They tremble in the dark. Whatever it is, this force, it’s changing me… slipped past the armour of my heart to touch the deepest part of me. A force I can only call… love.
. . .
I challenge you sisters, to expand your capacity for romance to include the world, the hidden corners of yourself, and the longing-pain of your destiny.
Intimacy is always the invitation at Mystery’s hand… If we wanted to, we could also say that romance invites us into the cauldron of change, the alchemical fire, and the yearning of the heart to go where we’ve never been. To grow, to be initiated into the Mysteries of the soul, we must enter a process of change so fully it fills our bodies, and cracks us open. The Beloved of you initiates you into both ecstasy and agony…he will break you, and redeem you.
The Inner Beloved is our guide to soul that invites us to romance and be romanced by the world; to follow our allurements, our fears, and our desires into a place of intimacy with all we don’t know. Here we turn on in a meeting of equals, in the embrace of forces much larger than ourselves, and in doing so, are guided into profound depths of our own.
Knowing the Beloved will also return to your human partner their humanity. For they, our fellow humans, will never be able to see you to your soul – that part of you is a river, always in flow. Our human partners – our lovers, our husbands, our wives, will never be able to deliver you to your destiny. They will never love you impeccably. They will never, ever complete you. They, unlike the prince in the fairy tale, will never awaken you to your sovereignty as queen. No my dear sisters, this is not their task. It is yours.
Join Laura in courting the Beloved in The Red Thread Mystery Journey. The Red Thread is an intimate, application-only yearlong designed for women of all ages and backgrounds that fosters a ritual container for personal and cultural transformation. The portal is open for a select few who heed the call. We begin on the New Moon, April 26th 2017.
Be one of 19 women who commit to exploring what it means to be fully human and fully WOMAN, and who support each other in inhabiting our primary place of belonging.
This work is NOT for everyone and is not another workshop. It is a vow to leaning in to the way Mystery is inviting you to shift shape and grow so that you can be in your fulness as you offer to the world.
Because there are spaces for only 20 women for the full year, an application and a discovery call with Laura is required. Book here.
More information here.
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For more self-study, The Urban Howl recommends Llewellyn’s 2016 Moon Sign Book: Conscious Living by the Cycles of the Moon (Llewellyn’s Moon Sign Books).