There are many forms of bullying. I had the opportunity to experience a few of these forms myself. They were all opportunities for growth but at the time I was not seeing and experiencing them that way. If only I knew back then that some of these things could be solved so easily just by changing perspective. I would have saved time to do a lot more with my life by simply following my inner guidance and my heart, as opposed to following my mind and my ego.
Bullying always existed but I believe it became particularly dominant as a social activity with generation X (individuals born between 1961 and 1981, which is my cohort). This is the generation that had to learn how to deal with the baby boomers who are a very self-centered confident generation, but this is also the generation that learned how to deal with the following generations more digital driven, such as millennials.
Generation X was raised alone, as in most cases both parents were working, in many cases parents were divorcing. As a result of the deep social transformation that was taking place, this generation was very peer oriented. Being part of something, having friends was of the utmost importance and so bullying had really devastating effects and long lasting scars for this group of people.
We all know what happens when we don’t love ourselves. This generation was not loved and was quickly forgotten. I am glad to see that most of us moved on and learned how to deal with it, perhaps our story can now serve as an inspiration for other generations suffering from social bullying. Perhaps some of us are still lost.
There are at least four main categories of bullying; physical, verbal, social and cyberbullying. I am particularly interested now in the social bullying where ‘generational bullying’ fits.
By identifying ‘generational bullying’, I am hoping that you can see all of this in a different perspective and transform what can be seen as something negative, into something extremely powerful for leadership. Vulnerability in leadership is so important and if you are part of generation X as well you will perhaps know what I am talking about.
In ‘generational bullying’ there is a lot of comparisons being made. It happens when you get compared to your older brother or sister, or when you get compared to your younger brother or sister. It can be a comparison between you and someone else, close or distant from your family, such as an uncle, a cousin, a friend, a friend of a friend. The point is you are always in the position where someone else from a different generation performs better than you on something identified as important by someone you care about, and no matter how hard you try you can never live up to the expectations so you decide and program yourself to think that you are inferior to that someone else you are being compared with.
This can decrease your levels of motivation to try new things, take risks and be fearless about making your voice heard. If you have transformed this experience into something positive in your life you became an entrepreneur in some shape or form, you know that you depend on yourself to make things happen and you know that you do not depend on other people’s opinion about you and about what you do and how well you do it.
No matter how close these people are from you, you follow your inner guidance and your instinct and you do not follow other people’s voices, opinions, judgements and criticisms.
If you have never identified comparison as a form of bullying and still believe that you are not good enough then just look inside you, what is your heart telling you? Follow your inner guidance and get surprised with all that you are and all that you can be. Don’t follow my words, follow your heart.
For more self-study, The Urban Howl recommends The Universe Has Your Back: Transform Fear to Faith.
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