Upon awakening in the morning I lay my hands upon my chest.
What do I want today?
What was that in my dream?
Can I still remember?
What was that to show me?
So lucky to be me.
What feels good to my body this morning?
Looking out at the morning sun starting to appear on the tops of the trees,
the birds sounding happy as I am.
Such softness, such pleasure, such strength.
I am grateful to be alive right here, right now.
So glad that I have made my bed just for me to have this time.
Sacred time is now.
No interruption please.
This feels to be a space I opened in another vortex for me alone.
Intuitively I cleared and fled and arrived here.
This is my birthright.
My time alone in sacred serenity, sensing me, healing, is love generating.
I see into the nuances of my knowings.
I am going deeper.
This feels so good to feel my life force.
I am happy.
I hope all women get to feel this.
I hope if they need to fight they will to get here.
We need all of them to come in, come home, let go, get down inside, sense, and just be.
We need to be alive, and as full as can be. We need to feel our truth regularly now.
A long road I’ve traveled to see my needs this clearly.
Sacrificing being understood or liked, I fought to make this happen – my sacred time, my heaven on earth.
I have hardly even begun my voice in the world for this.
My true identity has remained anonymous as the world readies itself to receive this; the great returning. I Am.
One baby bite, one woman’s confession at a time we are coming closer now to revealing.
Each experience has seasoned me has gotten me closer to understanding my own needs and my own worth. Even those that caused me to go outside of myself, eventually brought me back to myself.
I am a being, a Goddess, an animal, a beast, an angel in human form for this lifetime from the God system.
I have universal intelligence, a playful spirit, and flexible mind that seeks pleasure and freedom.
I seek ways for the inflow to be such a strong current that it floods the world with passion that fires away in the hearts of those I reach.
I am a strategic beaver of a dam that is mine to adjust.
My experiments work now.
In my lifetime I have spied with my queen eye. Quiet and hidden I am the bringer of love storms.
Riding the waves of realizations through ecstasy I am turning over stones in the dark mud.
I Am unbridled energy.
I see. I see. I see that there is nothing to be afraid of.
Nothing knows what to do until it knows itself.
Before this there is only reacting. There is only reaching wildly into the unknown, flailing without direction like lightning in the sky, bursting with first birth.
We were told that others were our commanders by others who also did not know. They were only flailing inside. Yet we believed them to be more powerful than us.
But now, now we know better. We can be free.
One stitch at a time we cut.
We need loosened all the way to undetected life mass. Then, to self decided form when we decide to return to the forum.
This is the way.
We become pregnant with ourselves.
Then, possibly her return if she decides so, and in the way she decides is best for herself.
This life is her art.
The stitch work of all webs of women are connected.
Solemn spider is our teacher. She is us.
We remember in our silence.
The weaving continues through all, as always.
We are queens. Such sacrifices we quickly make. Constantly we earn our spot. We bend hell to survive many times unto death, and much of it is done in the dark because it is beyond what the world understands yet. This is our nature. This is the life.
We are the queen bee who destroys her own wings. She tears them, ending her freedom to fly in order to go down into her place in the ground. The ancient team of bees, like robots under the direction of the great master, go to work to serve her. They do not question her Queen-dom. She always has a room of her own. The same happens with ants, and in ancient human cultures.
Women went away to be alone to collect their knowing. They went to be with themselves, to take their time. The tribe trusted woman’s wisdom, and ensured that her alone time ritual took place when she needed it. She was free and was encouraged to feel for her inner needs. She followed her nature, her desires. She trusted herself. This was the great reigning of the Queen.
Nothing has changed. We are the same Queens with the same needs. We now are awakening. We are now remembering. We are now beginning to take our time. We are not just selfish for ourselves, but for the all we sense increasingly now. One woman at a time, we take our reign of truth for all of the earth to heal. For the great return, a woman needs her lair. Respect is needed by all and for all.
I give this to myself. I am the Queen. And, I cherish her more everyday.
May we all make time and space to return to our lair whether if it be a bed of your own, a private spot in nature, or an hour where you say “don’t come a knockin'”. Mama needs her space. To be a great wife a woman needs moments to herself in precious sacred ceremony before she can be great again for the union, or for the Tribe. Or, if you are like me, you wake up alone and perform a gratitude ceremony for yourself before even thinking of getting out of bed!
We as women need to spend sacred time with ourselves to gather our wisdom, to clear old webs in order to see the truth, and ultimately for the great return. Keep going! Keep stating your needs and making it happen! Keep fighting for your rights. Keep taking time for you!
For more self-study, The Urban Howl recommends The Desire Map: A Guide to Creating Goals with Soul.
Sip a little more:
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“Follow your heart’s truth into the mystery. It is there that we will see with more clarity the next step we should take.”
—Leahanne Woods Smith
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