By Krissy VanAlstyne HOLY FIRE

Be With The Ones Who Energetically Pull Us In Fiercely And Hold Us There Safely

the one

BY KRISSY VANALSTYNE

Be with the ones who don’t run away when their ego or wounds get triggered, but instead, are willing to stay in the room with them, and you.

Be with the ones who can listen with empathy while you express how something is affecting you, especially if it’s something that they have said and how their words have landed in you.

Be with the ones who can see and admire the fact that you have boundaries and areas you can speak to that feel uncomfortable.

Be with the ones who know that your ability to communicate and ask for what you need is a strength and a relationship bonus for both of you, not something to be feared. Strong, well-spoken, heart-centered people are the ones we can trust. They know their own self deeply and can connect deeply, too.

Be with the ones who know how to fill their own cups so that they can help fill yours when a need for partnering arrives.

Even though you, too, are a great cup-filler for self and others, it’s important to make sure you’re not a one-person show with this.

Be with the ones who call you on the phone to connect with you. They are the ones who can hold a sacred space and who aren’t afraid of that sort of intimacy that is lost in our highly saturated, texting sort of world.

Be with the ones who show you their heart, their feelings, their tender side, their compassion and care.

Be with the ones who communicate that they need space or that things have changed for them, as they are the ones who will always feel safe for us, emotionally.

Be with the ones who choose to stay when things become more real and less easy and let the ones leave who choose to. Bah-bye!

Be with the ones who don’t just ask if you’re okay or express “I’m here for you” — which, don’t get me wrong, feels nice, but what feels nicer are the ones who take initiative to be there for you, beyond the words. Those are the types who show the f*ck up and are connected to their hearts and so can connect to yours in extra beautiful ways.

Be with the ones who feel like life is easier with knowing them, not more stressful. What the f*ck is the point if it’s stressful? Haven’t we suffered enough? Let’s not let anyone else come along who is not aligned and capable enough to help make our life easier.

Be with the ones who can still hold space with you even when they’re going through their own shit storm. Those are the ones with tremendous emotional strength and will be the ones to create unity, not division.

Be with the ones who accept you for all that you are with zero need to change you. The ones who celebrate your unique quirks, the idiosyncrasies that make you, you.

These are the ones who can help take us deeper into healing in so many ways.

Be with the ones who want to please you sexually and who find pleasure for self in doing so, as these are the ones who are fueled by your very essence in ways that will drive the union deeper.

Be with the ones who make you feel like a priority. That one is pretty self-explanatory.

Be with the ones who are sure of you, who are consistent with you, and who treat your heart with care when they have been given the gift of being able to hold it in their hands.

Be with the one — that is, you — first and foremost, so deeply and so intimately, that you see and feel the truth of why I share these words with you.

Be all these things mentioned — to be with and for you first, so that you can be all these things for them, too.

Photo by Caroline Veronez on Unsplash

For more self-study, The Urban Howl recommends The Universe Has Your Back: Transform Fear to Faith.

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Kate Joyner - The Urban Howl

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Krissy VanAlstyne

Krissy VanAlstyne is a fiery force. One who shows up intimately transparent in her truth, inspiring others to do the same. She does so in her private life, through her writing, and in her heart's earthly work, as a Life Coach. Krissy offers soul-level support, and guidance to those aligning with their deepest truths, exploring their darkest shadows, and who are experiencing the painful dismantling that comes with awakening. She's a woman on a soul-driven mission, an invite back to all we have ever forgotten—that we are love, that we are truth, and that we are powerful beyond our wildest dreams. She knows we are all here for great purpose, and reminds us of this knowing in the mesmerizingly complex simplicity that she continues to stand in—the fire that is her. Find her on Facebook and Instagram.

  1. This is so true on so many levels.
    Thank you for taking the words out of my heart.

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