No More Forgetting Myself In Midnight Skies — I Found Something Deeper

BY AMELIA KNAGGS

What Does It Mean?

“Yo.”
“Girl, what happened to you?”
“You’re acting all different now.”
“What changed?”
“Just you?”

“You stopped going out?”
“Stopped drinking?”
“The lot?”
“You changed up your ways man.”
“Did you lose the plot?”

“Where you been all this time?”
“Were you lost?”
“‘Cus we couldn’t find you nowhere…”
“What is it now that you got?”

“Your mouth has changed.”
“You don’t swear no more?”
“You’re acting all clean.”
“Like you know what for?”

“You’re dressed up heels…?”
“And your boxes of fags?”

They’re all down the drain
I don’t need them,
It’s in the past.

“But you gotta be tripping?!”
“How’d you change up so fast?”
“I heard you got married?”
“Is that some kinda act?”

No, I found love,
A greater love than I.
I found something deeper
Than partying
And forgetting myself in midnight skies.

I stopped all the drink,
And I stopped all the drugs,
I stopped all the days;
Wanting to die in the tub.

I washed myself clean,
I bathed in new waters,
I came out alive
Into new living quarters.

See I’m not the same now
As I was before,
So you can’t hurt me like you did then
As it’s not me, anymore.

Photo by Vidit Goswami on Unsplash

For more self-study, The Urban Howl recommends The Inner Voice of Love: A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom.

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