Be Brave & Never Go Back To The Way Things Were


By Jessica Durivage 

Have you ever just felt at a loss for words?

Whether you are looking at your partner during an argument, at your child when they are not listening to you, or even staring at the blank page when faced with the chance to engage during a critical moment of self-love or self-denial?

Perhaps you even reach inside for the words and hope they will come. You wish for something, anything, other than what is trying to make its way into your space. This is the old story, the played-out recording, the trigger being pulled, the button being pushed, the negative self-talk in reaction to the continuous silencing of your heart in the face of suffering.

Or worse, we become numb.

The places inside of us that have become hard, numb, resistant, and defensive, are all there for a reason. Just as much as anything else in life, they did not happen overnight. No matter how many articles you’ve read, courses you take, or pills you pop, it is not until an earnest and dedicated commitment has been made that we are able to soften and melt what guards our hearts.

It’s only when we learn to love our hard, sometimes razor-sharp, edges that the work really begins.

The answer is never easily found. In fact the word “answer” cannot, and will not, ever describe the human journey towards healing. We live in a culture where everyone is seeking an “answer” for all of their problems, even though we know it is utterly and completely impossible. Many people still cling to this notion that we will one day wake up, turn a corner, and the solution will be right there. Like a plane writing a message in the sky.

Even keeping that small glimmer of hope inside of our hearts that this will one day really happen—desperately expecting the answer to somehow come from the outside—keeps us from hearing the voice of true wisdom within.

Listening is an active skill and a lost art. Listening is a 360-degree opportunity to gather information about the world around as well as what is happening within. Listening helps us make skilled choices about whether or not we want to engage with another person, with our Facebook feed, or with the story inside each of us.

Stopping to listen helps us to connect with the present moment, which then allows us to step back and rise above all the noise and observe what is happening all around or within.

This very moment—where you are reading these words and trying to decide if you are going to click off of this article or stay engaged—is an important moment. This is a moment in your life. It is precious and sacred and you deserve to fully feel, and honour, how you have chosen to spend it.

You decide.

Perhaps you are feeling frenetic and busy and pulled in a million directions. So, right now, you can choose to just take a breath and be here with these words, and in this loving virtual and inspirational space.

When we get right down to it, and we look past all the flowery words and sales pitches to draw you into someone’s world or book or website, it comes down to choice.

You get to choose the next step, how you will take it, what direction you will go, and for the most part, what kind of shoes you want to wear on your journey. All you can do is put one foot in front of the other, take a breath at a time, moment by moment by moment. If you decide you want to wear three-inch heels and you get a couple miles up the mountain, then realise that may have not been the best choice, you just put on a different pair of shoes.

It’s that simple and it’s that hard.

Life is difficult. Life is simple.

It’s when we begin to expect these two things—sometimes each individually and often times a blend of them both—that ironically things seem to make sense.

Conduct your own experiments. Be the mad scientist of your own life. Be brave. Face your fears. Pour over the results. Step into your comfort zone and make notes about how you feel. Stay quiet and numb, and notice how you can never go back to the way things were.


Jessica is the creator of Where Is My Guru, a Virtual Learning center offering online programs and courses in personal and spiritual development to thousands around the world.

Jessica is also the co-host of the up and coming 30 Days Back To You online program starting on the Autumn Equinox, September 22:



Jessica Durivage

Jessica Durivage is the founder of Where is My Guru, an intimate in-person and virtual learning center for spiritual, personal and professional development. Her passion for inclusive experiences while seeking to find, speak and live her own truth have led her into countless of amazing collaborations, opportunities and adventures. She is known through her interview style, yoga teaching and writing for her mindful, practical and humorous approach to life and practice.Her writing has been published in Thrive Journal, Mantra Yoga + Health Magazine, Origin Magazine, The Urban Howl and Elephant Journal.

  1. Thank you Jessica, for sharing your words and wisdom.

    • J.G. Thank you so much for helping me to create this beautiful offering for Urban Howl. I so appreciated your emails and your feedback about my writing. Your love for this project really shows… and shines! x

  2. Bravo, Jessica! Your message went straight to my heart, where it was needed today. Look forward to September’s program! xo

    • Hey Kim! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment! We are so excited about September’s program! It’s going to be really different than any of the others. So appreciate your energy in this space. xox

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