By Tanya Tiger HOLY FIRE

Embrace The Storm & Never Go Back To The Way You Were

By Tanya Tiger

“You can dance in a hurricane But only if you’re standing in the eye.” 
~Brandi Carlile

I’m not going to tell you that it’s all going to be okay.

To say you will never face a storm would be a lie. To pretend they do not exist would only leave you open to being blindsided by their harsh reality. To tell you to hide away in shelters built around your heart — to remain steely and aloof — would only serve to cut you off from all that makes life worth it . . .  and shelters never survive the biggest storms anyway.

Storms are a natural part of life.

They come in the form of death, disease, job loss, separations, financial collapse, and numerous other trials and tribulations found within the human experience.

You can pray that a storm will never find its way to your door, but they always do.

I could tell you to run screaming, crying over the inevitable pain that the storm will bring, but that would only serve to weaken you and that I will not do. Instead, I will tell you to run into the storm, to embrace the winds and let them carry you.

You can make them a part of you.

You can love the storms and all their brutal honesty.

Head this warning; once you choose to embrace the storm you will never be able to go back to the way you were before.

To do this means letting go of the limitations you have placed on yourself. It means opening yourself wide, dropping the sword and the shield, and becoming vulnerable to all that comes when a storm hits.

Once you stand inside the storm, and survive, you realize just how strong you really are. You will come to realize that everything you allowed to hold you back no longer holds power over you. Things that seemed impossible become obtainable. Things that were once a nuisance no longer seem to matter.

I know the familiar doubts that creep in with each step you take forward. I am all too familiar with the fear of being swallowed by the howling gale-force winds you see ahead. I too, have found myself suddenly engulfed, drowning in oceans of tears and pain that takes my breath away.

I survived and became stronger. You can as well.

The secret to withstanding life’s storms is to find your “eye”. It is there you’ll rediscover your footing.

While the world seems to be whipping around your head and you feel like the storm will never end, don’t run from the pain . . . walk through it, to the center, to the “eye”. Stand firm, or fall to your knees, but stay present. Let every pain, regret, despair, “what if”, and “why” whirl around you. Let the numbness go. Let the shrapnel fly by your head and tear at your flesh, let it draw blood so you can see that you are still alive. Let the wind of hopelessness threaten to steal your very breath and in those moments know that IT CAN’T TOUCH YOU!

You can exist in the middle of the tempest, you can scream into the howling winds, you can dance, you can stomp your feet and curse “the powers that be”, and you can do all of this and more in a giant display of “f*ck you” against the anguish that threatens to squelch the light from your soul.

So long as you hold onto an ember of hope, the flame cannot be completely extinguished, no matter how hard the storm tries to put it out.

When my storm came, in the form of my daughter dying, I tried to escape it but only got more lost, more caught up in the pain and grief that seemed to exist all around me. It was only when I stopped running from the fear, and sat with my pain, that I found some semblance relief.

I finally gave myself permission to grieve, and I grieved hard. I dropped the platitudes I had been clinging to and just let the grief wash over me. There was beauty to be found in that breakdown. I let myself be cracked wide open, tears poured forth in a torrent of loss, disbelief, and an unbearable ache in the very depth of my being.

I cried until there was nothing left.

When I could finally allow myself to feel EVERYTHING, and to be emptied of everything, love had room to move back in. Slowly it filled empty spaces, like a balm washing over my wounds. I began to heal from the inside out. The storm began to quiet and I could see the other side. The eye was the scariest place I had ever dared to stand and yet I realized that it was also my sanctuary.

I am made of scars… They remind me of who I am, where I come from, and how deep my strength runs.

I will not tell you that it’s all going to be ok, for you will never be the same. Time will heal some of the wounds and you will begin to feel bent rather than broken. A scar, that only you can feel, will remain. Wear it on your heart as a badge of remembrance and live your life.

Tanya is the creator of SHINE Studios—join her on Facebook here.

For more self-study, The Urban Howl recommends Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief.



Tanya Tiger

Tanya Tiger is a creative and fiery soul who dreams of a world where everyone is free to be their authentic selves. She has been writing, drawing, sculpting and otherwise flexing her creative muscles since she was a child. She dances somewhere between optimism and “the real world”. Her heart is a vast ocean of emotions where her soul sets sail and rides the ever-changing highs and lows. She is married to her soulmate and is the mother of two daughters, one who lives on this earthly plane and the other who watches over from the “other side” (aka Heaven).

  1. Tanya Markul

    Tanya, you are SO strong! You helped me to dive into my dark and embrace it’s ecstasy and power. Thank you so much for sharing your magic and medicine. I admire your courage and your light. So much love, sister. XOXO Keep writing & please keep sharing! Giant hugs and love.

    • The sentiment is mutual dear Sister! So much love and admiration coming your way! Thank you for your continued love and support.

  2. Molly McHaney

    Beautiful, thank you for sharing your strength and wisdom..<3

  3. Diane Dorrough

    Again my daughter, you have left me feeling the swelling pride of you!!! I embrace all that you write and try my hardest to let myself feel the eye of my many storms. Your writings have given me a new beginning, one which I cherish daily. So proud of you and all you have and continue to learn and teach and Love ❤

  4. Beautiful contribution to the world. Going now to find my “eye” I have been spinning and been tossed around enough, going to the center of the storm. Thank you and bless you on your path. Never stop sharing. All the strongest women need to hear this.

  5. Absolutely beautiful! Thank you. I shed tears reading; their flavors were of compassion, understanding, amazement and more. I love all of the beautiful images that come with the articles … who makes them, I wonder … Stellar images (love images). 🙂 Thank you all at Urban Howl for being!!! xxoo

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This