By Aliza Gerritt HOLY FIRE

A Letter To Those Who Blame—Life Doesn’t Owe You Anything

By Aliza Gerritt

Dear Blamer,

You are guilty.

Perhaps you are in denial of your actions, words, behaviors and/or the relative consequences; guilty, nonetheless.

You are guilty of finding fault in another whilst turning away from the faults that lie within.

You are guilty of placing responsibility for your actions upon the heart, mind and shoulders of another, who; has already been carrying the weight of their own experiences, and, likely the burdens of the many more like you.

You are guilty of holding someone, something, anyone, anything outside of yourself accountable for your actions, beliefs, choices, decisions, and experiences.

Do I write to shame you? Never. You are already dense with affliction. If you were not; you would not be the one projecting your negative thoughts and dark feelings of obscure inadequacy upon another.

I write to inform you; you are weak. Not necessarily a permanent state of being, but in the now, you have shown yourself incapable of carrying the less savory aspects of your own experiences.

Your defined muscles, obsessive commitments to fitness and perceivable stamina are no indication of strength.

Strength is within.

Same place you’ll find: addictions, ailments, burdens, complaints, complications, confusion, difficulties, dilemmas, disorders, grievances, messes, predicaments, quandaries, troubles, worries and weakness.

I write to enlighten you; those of you who blame: abuse, manipulate and distort love, and, one of its most sacred aspects, forgiveness.

You knowingly or unknowingly walk into sacred spaces that have taken lifetimes to heal, purify, and rebuild, and you destroy.

You were ill taught that you can be absolved, cleared, forgiven, freed, liberated and pardoned from your behaviors; why be accountable in the first place?

After all, there is always atonement, repentance, apologies…

I write to advise you; your feelings of entitlement are erroneous. Your jaded belief systems which permit your deceptive actions, behaviours, sentiments and words to plague another are not warranted or justifiable.

You have likely forgotten; life and its inhabitants do not owe you anything for your inability to navigate your way through the emotions, experiences and intended evolution that is yours and yours alone to traverse.

You are manipulative, irresponsible and lazy.

Stop looking at the world outside of you;
Look within.

Stop delegating your fears, failures, and shortcomings;
Accept the lessons.

Stop evading life and its implicit challenges;
Confront your demons.

The Resilient Ones

For more self-study, The Urban Howl recommends Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself.



Aliza Gerritt

Aliza Gerritt is an Alchemist, Catalyst, Educator, Entrepreneur, Empowerment Architect, Writer and Visionary. She is passionate about educating, empowering and inspiring all sentient beings to consciously, confidently and creatively reclaim: vibrant health, balanced well-being and radical self-love. Aliza seamlessly weaves her quest; ancient teachings, innate wisdom, intuition, metaphysics, mysticism, sacred and universal truth into an eclectic tapestry of yoga as a lifestyle. Aliza is universally recognized as a Yoga Alliance Registered Yoga Therapist, esteemed Multi-Dimensional Healer|Shamanic Reiki Master and a Certified Nutritional Therapist. Connect with her via Facebook and Instagram.

  1. Tanya Markul

    Powerful! Thank you! XOXO

  2. Ronda Hipshman

    Ah, the student becomes the teacher, the daughter becomes ‘the mother’ as she offers powerful words like fingers probing and dissecting, while embracing my soul–words making me aware of how far I have yet to go.

  3. Yes. HELL YES. Someone had to say it! The unspoken sentiments of many others, I imagine, have been tactfully assembled into words.

    Thank you!

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