Why I Love Being a Single, Single Mom: Single & Alone Is Not The Same As Being Lonely

By Laura Phoenix Power

It’s not because I don’t believe in the beauty and power of love.

It’s not because I am bitter, frigid or otherwise unwelcoming.

It’s not because I lost all capacity to feel love, trust love or open my heart to another.

It’s not because I am afraid of another relationship not working out.

It’s not because I am unlovable, difficult, self-righteous, possessive or petty.

What I am is my own person.

I am empowered beyond generic societal perspectives or filters used to define what makes a woman whole or worthy.

I am balanced upon my self constructed fulcrum and don’t need to lean on “the one” for emotional stability.

I am standing tall in the forest of my own dreams which I weave into my daily existence.

I am worthy of all love imaginable and the freedom to experience that love on my own damn terms.

I am beautifully flawed and proudly wave my own freak flag that heralds my failures and victories.

I am my own wellspring of humor, health and happiness.

I am at home in my aloneness and do not need the company of others to validate my existence.

I am the one who creates my happiness and self fulfillment.

I am enough.

As a Mom, every choice I make models womanhood and imparts impressions to my kids. I want my daughters to live more, love more and reach for more than I’ve lived.

With all the love and fortitude within my heart, I work to set the standards high by loving myself fiercely, embracing my independence and living my dreams freely.

And every time I fail, fall or plunge into the sand traps of fear, they see me pick myself up and chart the steps ahead.

I am modelling the greatest love story of all to my daughters: self-love.

This alone fills my heart and nourishes my soul. It illuminates and clarifies the distinction between the convoluted paths of extrinsic pressures and the authentic paths of intrinsic truths.

I have fallen deeply in love with this moment as a single, single mom and the gifts of self-understanding it has brought. And I love the message being modelled for my daughters: that true happiness is to be, know and love yourself.

For more self-study, The Urban Howl recommends How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk.


Laura Phoenix

Laura is a writer, mother, survivor-to-thriver, truth warrior and mentor. A free-spirited juggler of moments and memories, she lives, loves and writes about empowerment, self-love, self-discovery and wholeheartedness. Harnessing her inner fire and bohemian essence she shares love and light from her kaleidoscopic heart. She is the author of "An Expression Of Love: a heartfelt story of parental uncoupling." Currently, she's nesting in Atlanta with two hilarious kids, one anxious German Shorthaired Pointer and one thousand more stories to share.  

  1. I wanted to thank you for writing this. I had the opportunity to edit it (which was really making zero changes) and I am a single, single mother as well. Every single word resonated with me. Single mamas for the win! <3 Much love to you and yours!

  2. Thank you Courtney Quinlan!
    My heart felt joy reading that my words resonated with you. It is so important to be heard and feel recognized for one of the hardest and most rewarding life courses, being a single mom.
    Love to you and yours too!
    ~ Laura

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