By Erdinc Raim HOLY FIRE

An Ode To My Inner Black Sheep: Because I Love Me More When I Abide With My Truths

By Erdinc Raim

In the back of my mind, I always knew I was different from everyone in my family, and most of my friends at school. In fact, most of the people I had ever met back then… I was the black sheep, I would say.

But really, I was a rainbow coloured fluorescent hummingbird freakin’ unicorn in disguise!

God knows I tried to fit it for many years. Tried to control everything I did so I didn’t stick out. I controlled how I smiled. How I dressed. How I walked. How I acted. How I spoke. How I played. How I danced. How I ate!

I tried to do the right thing. Education. Job. Money. House. Blah!

I was never doing it for me.

The moment my life started, was the moment I started listening to what I truly desired. What I truly wanted.

Not because anyone loves me more if I do things in a certain way, but because I love me more when I do things that abide with my nature and my inborn gifts.

Not forcing the lion into a birdcage, but unleashing the force within me, to run wild and free.

I can’t say that the pull of the past doesn’t still catch up on me. Some patterns are hard to let go of. And I don’t always get support from everyone that’s in my life. Sometimes that is the hardest thing to accept. But the gift of loving myself, and going for what I believe to be true, and serving the world in the way that I can serve it best, is worth that pain.

I dedicate my life to serving the truth within me, as it unfolds. And on this path I encourage anyone who desires to do so, to also seek out their’s.

When we all meet like this, in the heart of our truth, we stand stronger.

When we are blind to see the beauty in ourselves, and others path, we are at war!

It starts with forgiveness. Then acceptance. Then surrender. Then ecstasy.

For more self-study, The Urban Howl recommends Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It.


Isa Raim


Erdinc Raim is a nomad by heart, travelling to wherever he is pulled to for inspiration and growth. Every breath serves as an inspiration for our continual growth, in service of the great spirit, to honor our journeys on this planet, help free ourselves from the conditioned patterns of our minds, and to untangle the knots of the heart. Essential in his teaching is how everything in our daily life can be related to a higher purpose. Whether you are spiritual, religious or neither, he offers a space to sync in with whatever is present in your life. His offerings in meditation, movement and musings, serve to expand your horizon, and encourage anyone interested in growth to find new ways of self discovery and authentic expression. Erdinc seeks to deliver gateways for healing and growth in his classes, by the innate potential we all hold.

  1. Tanya Markul

    Amen, dearest soul brother! Love you! XOXO

  2. Bara Queenbee Cerna

    Love this! Thank you for writing a great piece Erdinc <3

  3. Thanks for this! I like the way you think.

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