By Caroline Miskenack HOLY FIRE

Heart Alchemy: If I Don’t Feel This Intensely, I’ll Never Heal

By Caroline Miskenack

It was all an illusion. Who I thought I was is simply no longer me. I had thought it was me in the world alone, but learned somewhere that it is all of us together, as one.

One love is the way I’ve come to feel, and am still learning and longing to understand. There is so much pain in this world — and yet despite the suffering touching the depths of my being, I know now that if I didn’t feel this intensely, I could never fully heal.

Allowing is growth.

Giving the heart permission to break is a path to freedom. To stop the pain, to hush the emotions, to hide all of it is to ultimately stay small, and to close off to both the truth of love and the great expanse of joy.

How is it that the life force within our own bodies, kept safe amongst flesh and bone, is flowing the very stuff we need to stay alive straight through our veins, even when so wounded? How is it that the heart beats to its own gentle rhythm so effortlessly and beautifully, even through times of such suffering?

The truth is this: the heart never judges.

It is the way to the realness of everything and everyone. It softly pulls us in to feel and understand things when we are brave enough to show up and fully listen.

Our hearts keep us aligned with life and other beings, while creating a very certain openness — a type of vast space that simply cannot be filled with anything but its own energy.

How wild it is to always expand outward into a vortex of compassion, without the fear of being stopped. It doesn’t see the other, it only sees itself. It doesn’t paint the picture of what the ego expects to view, but instead blurs the lines into an infinitely endless landscape of colour and wonder.

There is no separation when it comes to matters of heart, for it leads us to unknown places, yet never astray. It simply keeps in tune with what is right, what is pure, and ultimately, what is truth.

It expands and contracts, parallel to the natural rhythm of life — the good and bad, light and dark, blissful and mundane — for all of it necessary. It needs to beat for us, with us. It needs the contraction to push against, to work towards opening in order to teach us that it can be done, even through all the aches.

And within pain lies strength.

The type of strength that bleeds into the world from that open space between your ribcage, until the next beat. The contraction that is inevitable, because that in itself, is life. Go with it. Love that.

If we choose to bare witness to our own hurting, we make space for more love to flow in, though, and out of us. Don’t be afraid to feel the beating of your heart — that opening and closing, and opening again, as that alone will bring such beautiful reassurance that we are indeed alive.

And that we are human, full of grace.

For more self-study, The Urban Howl recommends The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book).



Caroline Miskenack

Caroline is an aspiring writer, life-long learner, big dreamer, peace lover, designer, and registered nurse on a mission to contribute to the health, well-being, growth, and awakening of others. She is moved by raw expression through words, dance, art, nature, and design. She believes in a benevolent universe, and seeks to discover the light in all things obscured by darkness. Caroline holds a Bachelor of Science in Nursing degree, an Interior Design diploma, is a certified Jikiden Reiki practitioner, and a certified Whole Health Medicine Institute practitioner — training with Lissa Rankin, MD; Anne Davin, PhD; Rachel Naomi Remen, MD, and other major leaders in the research, teaching, and practice of mind-body healing. Follow Caroline on Instagram.

  1. Beautifully written, I can feel the passion and heart felt emotions.

  2. Thank you Adrian; I’m happy this resonates with you.

  3. This is sooooo beautiful Caroline… It resonates so deeply with me..I’ve got tears in my eyes now…. Thank you for such an outpouring… Much Love..

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