By Jessica Basken aka Rivermoon HOLY FIRE

The Science Of Not Giving A F*ck

By Jessica Basken aka Rivermoon

I have given a fuck for most of my life.

I have given a fuck about what people think of me. I have given a fuck about right and wrong. I have given a fuck about being normal. I have given a fuck about fitting in. And all this giving a fuck has done nothing but made me really fucking tired.

See, when you give a fuck, you block your ability to listen to what you want. When you give a fuck, you are so concerned with what is happening around you that you have no idea what’s going on within you. When you give a fuck, you get out of tune with your deepest longings and desires. When you give a fuck, you cannot possibly live the life you want to live because you’re too worried about living the life you’re ‘supposed’ to live.

You think about what mom and dad expect of you. You consider what your friends are doing with their lives. You worry about what’s culturally acceptable. You leave your destiny up to everyone but you. And I hate to say it, but most of us are sheep. We’re following the crowd: barely aware of what we want out of this existence, just trying to fit in and appear normal.

One word: snooze.

That’s an old fuckin’ story. Plus, here’s a newsflash for you: you aren’t normal. You may not consciously realise this yet. But your bones know it. And they are aching to crawl out of the skin of normality that you’ve built around them. They are screaming for you to tear apart the veil of illusion that is making you think that you need to be doing what everyone else is doing in order to be happy.

Doing what everyone else is doing makes nobody happy.

Unless what everyone is doing is truly authentic to what you long for. But for most people it is not. And this is what not giving a fuck is about. It’s about knowing who you are and living your life in accordance to that.

It’s about being so authentically you that every swing of your hip and shake of your ass feels right and real.

Now, you may be so lost in the fog of normality that you don’t know what it means to be authentic. If this is the case, you will likely need to take some time to find your way back in. You may need to start meditating and practicing the art of listening to your heart. It may take a while, but eventually your heart will start to speak to you, I promise. And when it does, listen.

Listen to what it asks of you. And then do it. Be warned, your brain will try to speak over it. In fact, at times, your brain will most definitely be so loud that it will drown out your heart speak. This is what the brain wants because the brain is where all the giving a fuck comes from. The heart does not give a fuck.

Your heart is the core of you. It is where your happiness lies. It is in the heart where your deepest desires have been brewing since you came onto this earth. Not giving a fuck comes from paying attention to your heart. Your brain has done everything it can to speak louder than your heart. And it has probably been very successful up until this point.

But it is time to give the heart a little speaking time.

So, do that thing that you’ve always wanted to do but were too afraid of being judged for. Do that other thing that you were too scared to do because it wasn’t culturally appropriate. Ah, and do that thing that you are dying to do but may make you an outcast (or a hero).

Oh yes, and do that thing that everyone is going to think you’re fuckin’ crazy for doing. And please, please, please, do all of these things without giving a single fuck.

If you are doing what you love, you will be happy. If you are living in a way that makes your soul feel free, you will thrive. As long as you ain’t hurting nobody and your heart is singing, you are living. Life is too short to leave your happiness up to anyone but you.

Stop giving a fuck.

It’s not rocket science.

Featured image:

For more self-study, The Urban Howl recommends The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck: How to Stop Spending Time You Don’t Have with People You Don’t Like Doing Things You Don’t Want to Do (A No F*cks Given Guide).




  1. Tanya Markul

    Love you so much. Yes. Thank you for this power and freedom! XOXO

  2. Thanks for a great read this sunday morning !!!!

  3. Freja Corell

    Miss you Jessica – your classes at yogafactory has been my best yoga classes ever eventhouge I do a lot of yoga still.. You give me something special – you gave me a part of you and I am you ever thankfull <3

    • Freja! Just seeing this now!! You absolute beauty of a woman. Thank you for your sweet sweet words. I hope our paths cross again soon!

  4. Loved this and yes, I totally agree !

  5. T. A. Wood.

    Goddamned fucking right! Just the other day I thought ‘Fuck it. It’s hot’ and walked into the middle of a roundabout in the middle of town and let the sprinkler soak the shit out of my clothes. Cheers to not giving a fuck.


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