Facing The Darkest Side Of A Beautiful Person — Your Pain Can Set You Free

By Tanya Markul

“Beauty comes in many forms — and there is no form more beautiful than you. Just exactly as you are, this minute, right now, without changing a thing… you are beautiful. Beautiful enough to take God’s breath away.  You do believe this, don’t you? Oh, you must. You must.  How can I believe in my beauty if you don’t believe in yours?”
~Neale Donald Walsch

May every single one of us find the peace to really appreciate life.

Your life, my life, just a small speck, a tiny offering, in the grand scheme of everything.

At the end of the nineteenth century, Otto Lilenthal, the Glider King, a pioneer of aviation, was the first person to make well-documented, repeated and successful gliding flights. He died of injuries in 1896 when his glider stalled. He was unable to regain control and fell from an estimated 50 ft, fracturing his neck.

On his deathbed he said: “Small sacrifices must be made.”

His death, his courage, a small sacrifice in the grand scheme of everything.

“Hello darkness, my old friend, I’ve come to talk with you again, because a vision softly creeping, left its seeds while I was sleeping, and the vision that was planted in my brain still remains within the sound of silence.”
~Simon & Garfunkel

The darkness — what is repressed, suppressed, enraged and encaged.

Your life, my life, just a small speck, a tiny offering, in the grand scheme of everything.

I am not bad, you say. It is debatable if we are born a certain way, bad versus good, but throughout our lifetime due to controlling and repressive influences, it is safe to say that we all manifest, conjure and create the dark creatures that fester within.

We acknowledge and reflect them in and through the eyes of others — often feeling provoked, angry, deeply hurt or sad, misunderstood, hopeless or confused, judged. Lost.

The birth of shadow: Be a good girl, don’t be bad, they say. Our wounded ego from quite a young age turns defensively fierce and creatively delusional — and a master at distracting us from what is real.

It is more acceptable for me to hide my emotions. To silent my voice… To hide my creativity… To believe that no matter what I do, even if I follow their path, that ultimately I will always be unacceptable. So I must hide. Not be seen. Not truly live.

Over time we become angry and cynical. We start to live in denial and confusion with all the masks we wear that truly are not who we are. We de-humanize ourselves. We become creatures of superficial habit. Careless.

We become addicts, abusers, numbing ourselves to the beauty and mystery of being human. Our passion and inner calling becomes nearly irretrievable. So as we age and stray even further from the essence of who we really are — we lose sight and sensitivity.

We disconnect from our vessel and we lose all trust.

We become prisoners of our own pain.

Who’s telling the truth? On the path of insensitivity, nearly everyone becomes a liar. Almost everything becomes a betrayal. The journey of life becomes so insignificant that we seek only the dark — we dim our lights until we can no longer see or feel.

Silently and shamefully, we retreat from the experience of Life. We barely recognise ourselves, and although we pray for its end, death becomes our most frightening nightmare because we acknowledge, only to ourselves, that we aren’t living as we are meant to be, but possibly accumulating heaps of personal and collective regret.

“As one soul sinks lower, so do those around it.”
~Highlander, Author

Lead us all from the unreal to the real, from darkness to light.

Your life, my life, just a small speck, a tiny offering, in the grand scheme of everything.

Trust that despite your ignorance, despite all of your conditioning and hardships, despite the dark collective shadow that covers significant masses of our existence on this planet, you are meant to be here as you.

This experience is not in vain. You do have the ability to release pain, to transform the darkest parts of you into the deepest offering of healing, nourishment and transformation… for you, for those around you and for all life forms.

The healing elixir exists within the poison. Your issues, your trauma, your pain can set you free.

Make forgiving yourself the greatest act of courage. Make forgiving those around you, the world, the smallest sacrifice. Tap deeply into life. Invite the possibility of transforming the darkest aspects of you into something that is malleable and allowed to be released.

Trust beyond your current understanding that you don’t have to be swallowed by the shadows, but that love grows there.

Change your interpretation. Own your darkness like your life depends on it — because it does. If you never embrace it, it will never, ever let you be. It will never, ever let any of us be. You deserve better. You are more than you’ve ever imagined possible.

You beautiful human being, confront your darkness and connect with the life you were meant to be living and the person you were meant to be.

Live so that at the end of your life, your death, your courage, will be a small sacrifice in the grand scheme of everything.

Tanya’s new book is coming this Winter!
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  1. Thank you. Today of all days, I needed to read this. You put all my innermost feelings into words so beautifully <3

  2. I am weeping in my solitary struggle to reclaim my passion. Thanks for expressing something I’ve battled with for a decade of consciousness.

  3. This is frick’n awesome!! I am so stoked to find this & you! Words of wisdom and encouragement during the deep night of the 2020 pandemic, right on time. Thank you thank you!

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