By Dolly Mahtani
I’m always the first to admit when I make a mistake. I have no pride holding me back from recognizing that I’m flawed. After all, I am human. But I’m also divine. And, I’m learning how to live from this divine nature within me. This hasn’t been easy since I am someone prone to playing the victim role.
There is always something or someone else to blame for what is happening to me.
For a long time, I’ve inhaled the fumes of toxic beliefs: money is the best indicator of success; vulnerability is a sign of weakness; honesty is cowardice; love is meaningless; time for leisure is laziness; etc.
Believing in these things has led to self-loathing. I didn’t appreciate any of my qualities, and I always focused on what I didn’t have, what I was missing, or what I had in excess.
It wasn’t until I discovered self-reflection through meditation — that my old story and belief patterns were able to melt away and I could fall into the truth of who I am.
Because how you perceive yourself creates the filter, the lens through which you see everything else — your entire world. How you see others is a reflection of how you see yourself. So if you see yourself as unworthy, you are going to seek worthiness in places and people, and that just isn’t healthy. Trust me, I know.
But when you see yourself as a being of energy, of love, of peace, beauty and bliss, you allow yourself to shine and you give permission to others to do so as well.
This path brings you face to face with the best and the worst in you. Your old story comes up and claws into you trying to hold on for dear life. This old story contains all your weaknesses and vices. All your sins and crimes.
It is not enough to just recognize them. The objective is to leave them behind. To destroy that which no longer serves you, so you can make room for the light. To say it’s an emotional roller-coaster is an understatement.
Fear will appear like a knight in shining armor, convinced that it has come to save you! Guilt will lodge itself in your esophagus making it impossible for you to speak your truth. Shame will stake its claim on you, wanting to remove you entirely from the stage.
What I’ve found is that the more you focus on your weaknesses, the more you give them strength. The stronger you become, the stronger the opposition, the greater the challenges, the more you are tested.
In order to stop identifying yourself with your weaknesses, you need to start to identify with your strengths, your innate qualities, your virtues, your powers. The more you connect with the wholeness that you are, the more you close the door to your faults.
For more self-study, The Urban Howl recommends The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship: A Toltec Wisdom Book.