I wrote this on November 5, 2013…
Hey boo, is your busyness creating a meaningful, exhilarating life or just more crap to do? Be honest. No judgments. I have to pull myself out of the matrix all-the-time. But let’s stop passing time with the unnecessary stress from unnecessary tasks, and jump full sparkle into the magic of being alive! Amen and AHO, to you!
Pain, Blame & the Birth of SLBs (Self-Limiting Beliefs):
I was to blame. They were to blame. You were to blame. It’s just the way it was/is. I did the best I could. They did the best they could. The storyline has faded yet the constriction in my body remains. An accumulation of stories, descriptive words, a collection of adjectives defining my self-identity assigned by other people’s actions and systems, instilled beliefs, decades of unquestioned patterns and bad habits.
I’ve grown cold toward my self-limiting beliefs, but denying them only magnifies their relentless torture.
How do I let go? How does one transform tend to emotional scar tissue?
A Lack of Self-awareness, Our Most Unforgiving Warden.
How can I ever know if I’m on the right track? How can I ever see myself clearly if I’m constantly weighed down, distracted and foggy with my story lines? A narration that resides mostly in my inability to relax but to incessantly dive into blame assignments of the past or worries of the future?!
Me! Me! Me! I can’t see around ME! I can’t get out of my way!
I have existed with one foot in and one foot trying to step out for many years. I had a lot of excuses, worry and fear as to why I stayed on that train, so often tempted to just jump off at the next stop. There were benefits holding that ticket, but there was a lot more sacrifice.
Looking back and even now I don’t feel it was ever about the “supposed” to anything but more of a, “Can I trust and answer the irrevocable, soothing, loving calling of ME?”
Then one day I jumped, or was I pushed? Either way, I now have both feet in the same place most of the time.
How can I stop living an unexamined or overly examined life to discover the treasures of my soulful purpose?
Here are some questions I found helpful and revealing on my own personal journey. I hope they will serve you.
#1 Is it possible to accept that the future is conceptual and has no actual existence? It is only a thought, worry and/or stress element in your head and so sweetly dictated by our old school Franklin Covey’s, to-do lists, calendars and clocks. This also applies to the past. There is no such thing as the future or the past in the present moment. In the present moment, the past no longer exists nor does the unforeseen future.
—Give yourself permission to arrive wholly and holy in the freedom of the present moment. come back to it again and again and again.
#2 Stop betraying yourself. Allow yourself to be open to changing, doing, saying and thinking things that feel right — to you. Put yourself into positions where you can feel, sense and connect with your self-worth and stop doing things that constrict, restrict and disconnect you from who you are. Allow yourself to feel valued without having to seek external approval. Allow yourself to not feel physically and mentally depleted by what you do in life. Every choice, every action will either drain or deplete your spirit, so choose wisely and intuitively — and be honest about WHO you are doing what for.
—Feel the presence of self-love within your body. Even if it’s small. Even if you don’t know what it means.
#3 Live life’s ups and downs to the fullest. You, we and I are in a process of building and establishing a relationship with ourselves. There will be highs, lows, ups and downs. The map back to you may not be a straight line, and remember, it’s a journey, not an end. You may discover that success/love/sex/art/healing isn’t what you’ve been told it is.
Don’t miss the point — sing and dance while the music is playing. Don’t wait until it’s nearly the end.
#4 Do what you love to do. What is the one thing you feel qualified to share with other people right now? Don’t judge it or over-think it. Start to do what you love more often, no matter how much the limiting aspect of your mind screams: Arbitrary! Stop making excuses and share it with the people you love with every chance you get.
—Dive into what makes you come to life! Get excited about studentship, if that’s where you are, or share your refined talents with those around you!
#5 Recognize how you change and what has been revealed as a result of your efforts. Two steps forward, one step back. Notice your resistance, your broken record and repetitive patterns that take you back and back and back again. Keep inviting the possibility of creating space around thoughts and beliefs that make you feel restricted (relax your inner organs). Softly and gently surrender to the wisdom of who and what you are.
—Remember, the moment you decided to change, you already have. So even if you’re still landing in giant piles of muck, that part of you that woke up, will never leave you alone again.
#6 Set an intention. Be aware of what you are doing, saying, thinking and feeling. Surrendering to the present moment is not the same as switching on your fantasies during meditation with the excuse of “I just don’t feel like it today” or “I don’t want to go there right now.” Set the intention to be real, then relax about it. Set the intention to be honest. Set the intention to be kind to yourself. Set the intention to be more mindful. Through the process of intention setting, the things you cannot control may just manifest into a beautiful you-affirming conspiracy.
—You’re stronger than you think, and better than you feel. You are not just a result of the effect. You are the cause.
#7 Answer your own prayers. Work and do in the direction of your prayers. Prayer is not a substitute for work and work is not substitute for your prayers. They go hand-in-hand. You are the voice of the prayer and YOU are the answer. Your prayers represent a need only you can meet, and the magic won’t start until you take that first step.
—Find that hole in the world that fits your shape, and dive in.
May we all discover and experience what it means to truly love and accept ourselves, and to live a life of soulful purposeful. High blessings, dear You.
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