By Lisa Papez (The Fat Yogini)
I was raised to carve out my worth in measurable actions. The things I did that set me apart, that was where my worth was found – and it was the only place my worth was found, for a long time.
I’ve come a long way since then, but still find that my inner voice often tries to redirect me back to this line of thinking.
I’ve been working on some projects for a while now. They’re slow-going but seeing some real momentum lately. And then, someone else in this body positive or all bodied yoga world launches the very thing I’ve been working on (something much like it) and I deflate.
It’s not the first time I’ve felt this way. I felt this way when I was opening my studio and when I was focusing more online. I’d have a great idea and be in the process of making it happen, and someone else would get there first – someone with a bigger following, a larger base of support, someone better than me. My little inner voice would whisper, “what the heck are you even trying?”
My self-limiting beliefs center around worth and sometimes around wondering if what I have to offer is worth sharing. That’s when I have bad days.
Then I remember, wait, most people doing the work they love out in the world are doing it beside hundreds, thousands or more people doing the same type of work, and it doesn’t stop them so what’s my problem?
Not believing in myself is my problem. Believing in myself is still something that takes constant work (practice!) to do with any consistency and I’ve been on this self-love journey for a while, y’all.
So I want you to know, that if I have been on a conscious self-love/self-worth journey for years and still have days – hell, weeks, even months – where I struggle with believing in myself, so don’t you dare think that it’s somehow not normal that you doubt yourself as well.
We all have different life experiences.
Some of us have grown up in environments that did not cultivate self-worth and confidence and we struggle hard, to recognize our own value. Some of us have grown up in environments that did cultivate self-worth and confidence and still struggle. There is no checklist for this. There’s no magic ON button for self-confidence and self-belief.
It’s a decision.
I make the decision to believe that my voice matters – not once, but every single day. Every day. Especially on days that I struggle.
Sometimes I believe myself. Sometimes I don’t. But I keep at it.
Because, as I keep saying, “self-love is a practice”. So, just like I step on my mat to practice yoga, I step into the world and I practice self-love, confidence, and the embodiment of self-worth.
It starts with acknowledging the struggle and remembering that it’s okay – breaking through one wall at a time.
And as for me? I’m still moving forward with every one of my passion projects, because I think they’re valuable and I have a voice that matters, even when other people are saying something similar. Different people, different personalities, different paths – and mine is uniquely mine. Some of you are going to gravitate toward what I have to offer and some of you are going to gravitate toward someone else’s style – and it’s all okay because…
I’ve decided to follow my heart and my truth, no matter what.