By Melissa Hargrave MIND RISE

Overemotionality & Learning To Get Out Of Our Own Way

By Melissa Hargrave

Hypostatisation Of Emotions.

Becoming overemotional is problematic. When one is overemotional, one cannot expect or receive help from others. One cannot help anyone when they are overemotional, as we often cannot even help ourselves when overemotional. When emotions override the rational, people are often beyond help. One must hold on, and wait for the “ride” to finish; only then can clarity return. The distance, length and intensity of that “ride” will depend on the person, and can change over time; a decrease in the involved variables of said “ride” occurs when one begins to increase their emotional intelligence.

The emotional state of men and women differ.

Women have a tendency to become overemotional more frequently than men. Men have a tendency to allow feelings to fester before finally reaching culmination. Men tend to internalize emotions, and instead of talking about or commenting on them immediately, allow them to linger in their minds. It’s almost like stuffing down little boxed up emotions into the center of their body*.

Each emotion (fear, love, rejection, irritation, etc.) sends up a steady stream of thoughts, amplified by the confusion of the shadowed mind. Without acknowledgment or proper processing, it builds up until there is a pile of “boxes” that can become overwhelming. It is a mountain built out of molehills, dangerously looming in the male psyche.

When it suddenly shifts and comes crashing down, it can cause man to become overemotional – often not over one thing in particular, but over the aggregate of little things that have collected in layers like dust. Since men are more prone to aggression, a lot of times this overemotional state is depicted by “snapping” and can become violently expressed. Men who are not prone to outward aggression, instead often react in a way of inward aggression towards themselves. This can present as self pity, self loathing, self derogation, self sabotage, self withdrawal, etc.

Women usually don’t let emotions fester for as long, as they are often more compelled to talk about and show their emotions. It is also more widely accepted for them to do so than it is for man. In a way, it is expected of woman.

Some women become overemotional, they have a good cry, and then they are able to work past things. Other women drag it on (for what feels like) indefinitely. They are still beating the same dead horse – crying about this or crying about that – completely overemotional to the point where there is no more rational.

They are overcome, they are swept up in it. Emotions are like giant waves in the ocean in that there is not much to be done after it grips an individual. One must prevent it before it occurs; one must prevent it from getting to that point. This can prove to be a difficult task.

I have noticed that the week leading up to menses is an extremely emotional time for me. If I am not careful and on guard to get enough rest, to eat right, and exercise, then I can easily get swept up in emotions – especially if the outward circumstances are challenging during that week. I have also noticed, in general, that whenever I allow my body to become stressed my pain level increases, then my sleep suffers, my routine becomes marred by exhaustion, there is a rise in mental chatter, and all this can eventually lead to a state of being overemotional – especially if the outward circumstances are also challenging (i.e. the first half of 2015).

I now remain alert, and take care of my body and mental stability, in order to decrease overemotional instances. Overemotional episodes may be when some of my most passionate writing emerges, however it is seldom the time when I write a piece worth remembering.

Every person should be diligent in caring for their mental stability, for overemotional outbursts can be detrimental to all forms of relationships.

The above is just a generalization, it is one plane of the multi-faceted existence known as human. There is no one-size-fits-all. This is not “only” or “always.” The individual is diverse; a different model although we are all the same make. This is not absolute; there is only one absolute truth and we are not it. This is merely relative. Women can allow things to fester and “snap” just as easily as men can carry an overemotional state for a long period of time. We all embody each other from time to time.

One must be aware of these things, and remain objective of when one is overemotional. Although it is hard to catch when one is in the throes, it is often easier to see it after it has occurred. It is up to the individual to see this behavior in themselves without rejecting, repressing, or “dressing it up” as the shadowed mind is wont to do. It is easier to prevent overemotionality if one is watching the emotions as they initially arise.

When we are doing our best in everything we can, it helps to decrease overemotional episodes.

Not that being overemotional is necessarily a “bad” thing, and there are situations in life that are highly improbable to face without becoming overemotional. Emotions are not, in and of itself, a “bad” thing. But allowing them to sweep over us, overtake us, and carry us away on a swift current, without any rational say so, on a wild, destructive ride, can become a problem.

I say all this acknowledging complete awareness of the fact that I have been overemotional a vast number of times in my life. These were times when I was not well featured because I had allowed my being to be hijacked by emotions fueled by the shadow mind. This has caused the decadence of many relationships, since childhood. This was not necessarily a “bad” thing, as it is often through self created suffering that one is able to awaken to reality.

Having these experiences are the only way that I am able to see this, and to be able to explain this to others. I would like to consistently take my own advice always and in all things, but that would be expecting something that reality cannot deliver. It is absurd, yet I realize it could one day happen. It could happen to us all, if we just learned to get out of our own way.

My purpose here is to relay what I have observed to those around me, in hopes that others can benefit from my perspective.

*s/o to MJ for the box analogy 



Melissa Hargrave

My name is Melissa, but you can call me Mel, Melly Belly, or Mel-a-licious. My age is 34. I am everyone & no one. I know nothing, but I understand a lot. I am in love with life and the present moment! I have produced one son, Noah. He's an only child; a rough draft with unlimited potential. He makes me laugh while keeping me in check. He is my most favorite person I have ever known! We care for two Chihuahuas, Rocky and Pinky, who are integral parts of our family. Pinky reminds us there is power in meekness, while Rocky reminds us of the dangers of peevishness and hostility. Together we live in harmonious chaos.

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