Meet Yourself For The First Time: A Little Prayer To Grow Self-Love


By Tanya Markul

Also published on Thug Unicorn.

As said by Anneli Rufus:

“We aren’t born with low self-esteem. It is not possible. The newborn brain lacks this capacity.”

A little prayer to grow self-love:

I don’t believe I was born disliking myself. Were you? It feels like quite the opposite really. I don’t actually recall having thoughts of whether I should love or dislike who I was when I was little. I was connected to the trees, the outdoors. I loved to love and care for those around me. I was feisty and confident, and I had a sense of humour. I didn’t worry about clothes or brands or looks. I loved to laugh, test boundaries, and I was creative. It felt like the natural thing to do, to interpret life without boundaries through my small, growing heart  — just like all children do. But then trauma came and tainted how I saw myself for quite a long time.

I’ve learned to use self-loathing as protection from disappointment and hurt. I’ve used relentless self-criticism as a wall and guard from feeling, healing and growing. I’ve used the excuse of my failures for not getting more intimate with who or whatever was in front of me.

For a long time, and because pain came so early in my life, I didn’t realise that as I got older, I was using self-loathing to cope, and that my self-destructive behaviours were nothing deeper than habits leading me to the root of my pain. But at is was, these habits were eating away at my intuition, power, beauty and gifts. And that unknowing to the inner havoc this was creating, made my life quite unhealthy for a time. You see, although I wanted to feel better and eventually got onto a path of personal healing, I was still magnetised toward superficial relationships, sugar, alcohol, a party-girl persona, mind-numbing substances, and junk food.

I had issues with not being in control, and I said ‘no’ to a ton of life’s invitations.

I didn’t know how to set realistic goals, but more than anything, I was afraid of healing and succeeding. A big part of me, for a huge chunk of my life, believed that because I had experienced pain so young, that I was bound to suffer for the rest of my life.

Learning to love and accept who I am, and becoming comfortable with taking risks, falling on my arse AND succeeding, has been a life-long practice for me. I know now, that the love I have for myself is the fuel, creativity, magnet, and magic for every single thing that I do.

Cause self-love not only carries you into a sacred acceptance of your soul-filled body shape, bringing more life and power into you physically, but it creates a super healthy state of mind, one that supports you, no matter what muck is being thrown at you or coming out from within.

Unlearn Self-Hate & Relearn Self-Love:

Here’s a powerful tool, that I call the Self-Love 3-Stepper, to bring you back into the present moment and into the arms of the wiser, unconditional loving You:

  1. Catch the SLB — the Self-Limiting Belief. I can’t do this. I suck. I’m not good enough… Name it. Call it out. Claim its presence and power over you.
  2. Forgive yourself immediately. Take a super deep breath in, and exhale, a deep clearing breath out. Eventually you may even find yourself smiling or giggling when you catch yourself mid-self-shit talk.
  3. Replace the SLB with self-love and kindness. Rub the center of your chest, press into your lower belly, and use positive affirmations: I am amazing. I am peace. I am worthy. I am love. I am exactly what my life needs right now. And it is enough. I am enough. Amen and aho.

The spell that suffering casted upon your heart, at no matter what age, must be acknowledged and handled with care, knowing that you already are and have exactly what it takes to get yourself to the other side of pain. You are worthy. You are worthy.

Welcome home to the real, loving, messy & imperfectly perfect you.

May we all experience what it truly means to love and accept ourselves in this lifetime. Amen and aho! Get ready for more sparkles, self-love & messy healing! Stay tuned for these min-sermons on the weekly! 

Let me know what you think . I want to hear your story below or send me an email to: tanya@thugunicorn. Amen & Aho!

Featured image: Emily Soto {filter via The Urban Howl}

Listen {free} to more of Tanya on SoundCloud:

Feel Your Feels: The Inner Freedom Fighter’s #1 Superpower

Dealing With ISPs {Inner Shit Projectors} Thug Unicorn Style

Exhale Deeply & Completely: Because You Are Already Powerful, Holy & Enough

Get your Sparkle Sermon {weekly healing pep talks & prayers for how to sparkle in your personal dark} free subscription HERE. Get my sassy wisdom every Tuesday and listen while on your lunch break, visiting your tree or commuting from work!


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**BONUS SPARKLES** In honour of love and sisterhood True North Sisters would like to offer you and your soul-sister a loving discount for our up & coming spring retreat! If you sign-up together this week (Feb 14-19), combined, you’ll save 600 dkk.

The Blessed Be Spring Retreat is a full weekend at beautiful Møn, where we’ll be immersed in sisterhood, nature, ancient rituals, yoga, meditation and sacred movement. This retreat will replenish your mind and body, and will expand your heart.

Sisterhood has been one of the most healing energies on our planet since the beginning of time — come and experience its power, comfort and release.



  1. <3 Thank you xo

  2. Tanya, you are wonderful! Thank you for spreading love and promoting self-love. It’s exactly what I (we all) need to hear ❤️✨

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