You’re Different, Yes — Heal Your 5-year-old Mystical Self & Embrace Your Connection To Spirit

By Elle North

Letters To My Younger Mystic Self {Age 5}

A dear sister of mine and I recently had a conversation on what it looked like to live as a mystic in today’s society.

I realized that while I have come to feel comfortable as a mystic today, that when I was younger I had a really difficult and confusing time navigating through being so connected to spirit and feeling so alone with that connection.

While I have a wonderful and potent circle of loved ones who totally get me, see me, and support me now, when I was younger I didn’t really know how to put my experiences in to words, and I was extremely cautious about sharing my feelings and spiritual connections with others.

And so I saw with deep clarity that I had some healing of my younger mystic self to navigate through.

As we spoke and exchanged stories, this sister asked: “What would it look like to write letters to your younger mystic self?”

That idea really struck a chord with me – to imagine my younger self receiving these letters felt like such a gift, like sweet medicine. And I desired to share these letters with you, as I imagine that perhaps, a younger or current version of yourself may also wish to feel into these words.

So starting today, I’ll be sharing these letters with you, one at a time. Each letter will be written to myself at a different point in time. While these letters are personal, they are longing to be shared with others.

Before I share my first letter with you, let’s just take a moment to feel into how I define someone who is a mystic or who has mystical inclinations. To me, a mystic is someone who lives life with one foot in this world and one foot in the spiritual realm. To me, a mystic sees every experience as a portal to the divine, as a mirror of the divine, as an opportunity to experience the divine within herself and to see the divine within others.

A mystic is always on a quest for the deep inner truth that runs through all things.

A mystic feels a deep sense of awe towards the spiritual, and uses this awe as a key to unlock deep devotion towards the divine. A mystic loves to envelop herself in the mystery, honors her intuition, is able to develop her own set of beliefs, and is constantly re-committing herself to her intention to expand spiritually.

A mystic has gone through a shift in consciousness (or seeks the shift) to open up her third eye to the cosmic nature of all that is. She has opened her ears to the language of god and the goddess, she has opened her heart to the divine, she feels the potency and the goddess entering her nose on her inhale and exiting her mouth on her exhale. She understands that her every action is an act of worship.

As someone who had mystical inclinations at a young age, a lot of this was confusing to me, as it wasn’t a part of the daily conversations that those around me were having. It wasn’t something that was spoken about in school, it wasn’t talked about on TV. So, much of the above definition feels to me like a mystic who has navigated through the confusion and mystery that come along with these experiences.

. . .

Dear 5-year-old mystic Elle,

There’s a quote that you will read one day, in Roberto Calasso’s Ka, that will resonate with you in the core of your being and describe a feeling that starts to become familiar to you during this age:

“Brahma plunged into himself and sensed that melancholy that comes of understanding too much and not knowing whom to say it to. And it was precisely his awareness of that that dazzled him. That was what was missing:  someone who would understand.”
– Roberto Calasso

I know one of your favorite things to do is to listen to as many Beatles cassettes as you can find on repeat in a cardboard box that you have decorated with crayons and markers, a temple to the Beatles 20 years after their last concert performance. In this place, you listen to Tomorrow Never Knows. This is your first guided meditation, and when you listen to it, something will click inside of you that you won’t know how to put into words until over a decade later.

“Lay down all thoughts, surrender to the void,
It is shining, it is shining.
Yet you may see the meaning of within:
It is being, it is being”
– The Beatles

And from that point on, in this temple of the Beatles, you will see their songs as an invitation to dive into meditation, and become lost in the deep presence that comes forth when you learn to dwell in a state of inner awareness. Perhaps this was the beginning of your desire to not be seen while communing with spirit, hiding in a box with your headphones on.

Around this time, you start to recognize that there is something a little bit different about you. Like one foot is here, in this world, and one foot is walking somewhere else within the cosmos.

In kindergarten you’ll sit at a table full of girls and feel slightly out of place. The things you think about aren’t in alignment with the things they think about. Something about your mind desires to always go deeper, to read between the lines, to find the magic and the interconnectedness of everything.

Since you are certain that your mother can read your mind (because intuition feels like something natural and a given to you) you wonder if it’s okay to even think things of this nature, to have thoughts that are, as you reflect upon them decades later, oddly observant and…adult.

Dearest Elle, I am here to tell you that as you navigate through all of this, as you figure out what it means to be human, as you journey through the inner workings of your mind and body and heart and aura, that eventually, things will become strung together, like verses of a poem, and you will be able to be at peace with the beautiful mystery of this thing called life on earth.

And eventually, you will find kindreds who will understand, who will circle around you and let you know that they too, have been thinking about the same things and having similar experiences. And they will feel like home.

As you grow, I think the best thing you can do is to be true to yourself. To stay curious, to continue to immerse yourself in unraveling the mystery and catching glimpses from behind the veil. It won’t always be easy…but to remain true to your essence will be easier than to bury it down and push it away.

Find solace in being outside, in laying down upon the earth and allowing the sun to warm your skin. This will ground you, as you have a tendency to float away into the realm of the mind and spirit.

Do not deny yourself the pleasure of learning about all things spiritual – know that it is okay to learn about other religions and ways of connecting to the divine. This is not a bad thing – in this lifetime, this is a safe thing to explore and become fascinated by.

Be comforted by the thought that all of these interests and passions, all of these curiosities and mysteries, will continue to unfold over and over again, like a mystical never-ending cootie-catcher. You will be able to dwell in this place, where creativity and wisdom and spirit meet and intersect.

Xo, your Self from 2017

For more self-study, The Urban Howl recommends Daily Guidance from Your Angels Oracle Cards: 44 cards plus booklet.

Sip a little more from Elle’s offerings:
4 Ways Tarot Archetypes Can Bring Power Into Your Life
Honouring My Inner Persephone As I Transition From Maiden To Matron
5 Ways Kali Awakens My Inner Fierce Badass
{Listen} Full-Length Moon Magic Meditation
5 Tips To Embrace Mercury Retrograde {For Real}

remember your magic . . . #howlforyourlife


Elle North


Elle is an intuitive mystic, spiritual teacher, and inspired graphic designer. Elle is also a Temple Priestess for A School for the High Priestess here, a training program in the arts of mystery, magic, and sacred rites of passage that she co-created with Sora Surya No. As a Reiki Master who combines knowledge of Tarot, intuition, meditation, yoga, and crystals, Elle creates unique offerings + courses for soul-seekers. Elle's work is to empower others to connect to their inner wisdom. An alchemist at heart, Elle thrives in a space where things are sacred and full of ritual. She believes transformation can occur when we move the unconscious to the conscious; the inner world to the outer world. Discover more about Elle at Drawing Within here and Drawing Within Design here.

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