By Patricia Biesen HEART ALCHEMY

I’m The Love Of My Life — No, I’m Not Lonely And I Don’t Want A Cat, But Thanks

By Patricia Biesen

At Last…My Love Has Come Along

This is the story of how I found true love.

Sometime after Thanksgiving, I was driving around my city admiring the holiday lights. Then it hit me; I am truly my own best friend. I really enjoy, dare I say, “savouring” my time with me. And this time I really felt it. I enjoy my quiet time and my good fortune to be the sole decision maker in my life. It was my “It’s a Wonderful Life” moment and I hoped that the good vibes would last. And you know what? They did.

Occasionally I will encounter someone who is married and has a family and they just pity me. “Oh, that must be so sad.” But the truth is, for me, it rarely is sad. Why? Because I get to finish reading a book. I get to chose what movie I want to see. I get to complete a thought without being interrupted and you know what? My bestie is pretty damn cool. I think I should be the one envied.

Sometimes when I get questions like: “Don’t you want to be married? Did you ever want to have kids?” (as I am clearly and visibly beyond child-bearing age) “Are you dating anyone? Any prospects? What about Tinder? OkCupid? Match?” To all of these questions I say, “Until I find someone worthy of giving up time with my bestie, I’m staying single. And no, I’m not lonely, and I really don’t want a cat, but thank you.”

For my perpetually single friends, give yourselves a break. Feel what you need to feel. If you feel sad, it’s okay. What these questioners don’t get is that times are different now. Not everyone is meant to be a homemaker. Actually, there are just as many, if not more, single people than there are married people. There are no guarantees. You may attempt to date every day of the week. Invest in the best apps and matchmakers and still not be successful in your love life.

While you are with you, you might as well enjoy yourself.

My goal for 2017 is to really treat myself as my best friend. Would I shove junk food in my best friend’s mouth? Would I verbally abuse my best friend? Would I make my best friend wear socks with holes in them? Would I shame my best friend’s body? My resolution is to hold on to this power for as long as I can and take my best friend out proudly. Here she is! She is lovely. She is kind. She is curious. She’s having a cup of coffee. She’s enjoying a movie. She is living life.

I admit this real feeling of self-love didn’t happen overnight. Maybe for some of us, it takes years of affirmations, journaling, making lists, attending seminars, praying, and visioning.

For those reading this that don’t love their alone time, I say please stay in the game and point yourself in that direction. Eventually, you will fall in love with you and hey, like everyone says, “It happens when you least expect it.”

For more self-study, The Urban Howl recommends The Inner Voice of Love: A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom.

Sip a little more:

What I Learned From My Alter Ego

Unleash Your Inner Freak: It’s Good To Be Weird



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