By Lais Stephan NEW MAGIC

F*ck This Shit: Rest, Let Go & Answer The Call To Allow Big Transformations To Happen

By Lais Stephan

Are you honouring your body’s call to allow transformation to happen?

I came to understand a few things about exhaustion. And believe it or not, sometimes feeling exhausted is a good thing. Let me explain:

There are two levels of exhaustion. The first one, I will label the “burned out” kind of exhaustion. You have a career, a spouse, kids, friends, hobbies, and are trying to juggle it all.

There is not enough “me time” or resting time. Your body at some point will feel depleted. Lack of energy, insomnia, depressive phases, chronic illnesses such as migraines, back pains or digestive issues might occur frequently, and will lead to a full burn out when not treated.

The second state of exhaustion, I call “soul transformation”.

Let’s look at a caterpillar. Once it ate all it could and grew, it decided, somewhere on a soul level, that it was destined for greater things. It believed that maybe, one day, it could learn how to fly.

And so the caterpillar builds a little cocoon. It might seem like it’s only chilling out, but quite the opposite is true. A massive transformation is taking place. It’s changing forms, getting new organs, limbs, and colourful wings. The caterpillar needs this resting time for this metamorphosis to take place. And it’s during this resting phase, that the caterpillar is most productive.

We are like that too! Sometimes I wondered why I would feel so tired… I had left my corporate job behind ages ago. I built my business from scratch, but work probably 1/3 of the time I used to. I only work around 6-7 months a year, while traveling the rest of it. I have created a lifestyle that allows me to rest and to have enough “me time”.

So, why would I still feel so tired sometimes?

Because I’m in constant transformation mode. And transforming always requires us to let go. Letting go is extremely tiring.

There is no transformation without letting go.

Letting go is essential for us to change and to transform. Whether we let go of people we no longer identify with, a partner we have outgrown, or a family member that makes us feel anxious with their constant negativity. It can be a job, or a whole career. Or it can just be internal stuff we let go: our limiting beliefs, our self-sabotaging tendencies, our lack of self-worth and compassion towards ourselves.

The caterpillar decided to let go of its entire body. It decided to let go of the life it knew so well. It decided that being a worm was no longer good enough. It decided that it was ready for more. Most likely it didn’t even know what a beautiful butterfly it would become.

And isn’t it true for so many of us? We just don’t know how extraordinarily beautiful we become after each big transformation. After each time we say “fuck this shit” and leave toxic relationships, shitty jobs or stop degrading ourselves with our negative self-talk, like “I’m not good enough, not smart enough, not strong enough. I’m a crappy mother and spouse, I have no gifts and talents and no life purpose.”

When we do self-development work, we work on a deep soul level. Therefore, it’s essential that we allow ourselves to rest, to have those extra naps, to cancel all those appointments and gatherings that are stressing us out, or to pay attention to what we eat.

Our body is integrating our soul’s expansion.

We are tired because our body needs to catch up with our soul’s expansion. It’s learning to integrate more life force energy (Chi), to host more positive frequencies to feel lighter. Our metabolism speeds up, our cells are literally being re-programmed and allow more energy to flow through them. Our DNA will release a lot of junk and toxic energy that we inherited from our lovely ancestors. You just need to google for “epigenetics”. There are studies that confirmed that whatever traumas our ancestors experienced, were passed on from one generation to the next.

The world needs you to be patient and to have the faith.

I can’t even stress enough, how important it is for you to not only do this inner work, but also to allow your body to catch up with all these changes.

The world needs you to be a fully formed butterfly. We need more butterflies to fly around, and to help other caterpillars with their transformation. And that’s the real beauty of this whole process. It’s super contagious. All the caterpillars around you, that watched you become a flying butterfly will now look up to you, waiting for you to show them how to also fly. They will trust that whatever work they do on themselves, and that the period they take out to rest for the transformation to take place, will be worthwhile.

Their fear of the unknown, their fear of making changes might decrease. We need the more courageous caterpillar to step up now and to go through this transformation, so that we can help all those, who have bigger fears, and a bigger resistance towards change.

So, dear ones, whether you are at a caterpillar stage, cocooning stage or are already flying: trust yourselves, and know that letting go is the start of a beautiful transformative journey, and that feeling exhausted while these changes occur is absolutely normal!

For more self-study, The Urban Howl recommends The Universe Has Your Back: Transform Fear to Faith.

Sip a little more:

To All The Magic Seekers & Dreamers: Hail The Energy Of Being Alive


  1. Tanya Markul

    THIS! Thank you, Lais! You are amazing! XOXO

    • yaaay, so happy you loved it!!! Thanks for your amazing site and for publishing it! 😀 xxx

  2. Jens Ohle

    What a marvelous and encouraging analogy! Thank you, Lais.

    In my straight forward business career, I often felt a level exhaustion that made me reluctant to self-development, not even thinking about transformation.
    And when I was back in power, then all this corporate stuff like “extra mile” or “double bagger” pushed me again towards corporate performance. Self-exploitation at its best …
    Sure, personal development was an important HR topic. But I couldn’t imagine someone standing up and saying: “I need a performance-exempted quarter because my body needs to catch up with my personal [read: soul’s] expansion.”

    I wished I’d have read your story/allegory already back then.
    Ha-ha, what dumbfounded I would have induced !!!

    Cheers, Jens

    • thank you so much for reading! As I also have a corporate background, like you, I know exactly what you are talking about. 🙂

  3. Jens Ohle

    Lais, just read about your new self-development program on your website and it SOUNDS REALLY GREAT … just, I’m not a “chick” … Now, what? 😉

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