By Kate Joyner MIND RISE

Lie Down Your Defenses, Get Vulnerable & Feel Your Way To A Force Of Love So Great

By Kate Joyner

The other day a story popped into my field that got my attention…

It was a story of a cab driver who picked up an elderly woman in the middle of the night. She asked the cab driver to take her on a windy route through town, to which he responded that it was going to cost her more to get to her destination.

She said she didn’t mind, that she was on her way to hospice and that the doctor had said she doesn’t have much time left. She didn’t have any family remaining, and this was her way of saying good bye to her life.

At this point the cab driver turned off the meter and spent two hours driving her around town visiting all the places that held memories for her, listening to her story.

When they finally arrived at hospice she asked how much she owed him, to which he responded, “Nothing at all.” She was deeply moved and so was he.

This story touched me.

It got me thinking, what if we were to live with the reality that we’re dying every day? What if we were to drop our need to get anywhere or be anything to meet the preciousness of this life, be it through a tree or a connection with another?

I’ve recently had the heart opening experience of being with both the dying and the newly born. I’ve found that both are precious portals that have brought me close to the true essence of life.

There is a divine humaneness at these portal points. A recognition of the gift of what it means to be alive, that in the middle of these life passages we can easily lose a sense of, unless we are choosing to deeply listen.

In the un-rendering vulnerability of the other at these portals I felt a direct cord to the Soul of this Earth. The Anima Mundi. I’ve felt touched by a force of love so great, it’s reminded me what life is truly about.

In the face of death or new life, a person is utterly dependent on the other. Not in a way that we create co-dependent relationships out of unmet need but a dependability to be held in a way that supports the preciousness of this life. A dependence that’s so pure. It’s an utter surrender.

Maybe this pure dependence is the true underlying desire of relationship. To be met so fully in the surrender of our need for dependence. Maybe this is a great longing and true meaning of life. Maybe it’s the underlying desire that is fueling all of our actions.

Maybe our inability to open and surrender to the pureness of our own divinely human need is what creates distortion in a relationship.

Our own wounding, the pain of unmet needs, keeps us seeking this fundamental need out in ways that create confusion and pain in the field of the other, further distancing ourselves from the place we long to arrive at.

What if we all were to meet each other in the pureness of our need to commune with the soul of the earth, through and with each other? In a way that supports the life of another. Not out of martyrdom, but out of genuine open-hearted desire, because in that meeting you are also being fed by meeting the preciousness of this life.

What if we were all naked and stripped enough of our own unhealthy ego defenses, to be able to meet each other in the pureness of that need? That we are able to expose that level of vulnerability.

As I’m writing I’m seeing wars stopping. Just stopping. The battle of protection and defenses would transform if there was enough consciousness to recognize the pain that lies underneath the original betrayal.

If we could simply reveal the souls need to be held in a way that supports life, would it bring the defenses to their knees? Surely, this is a world that we long to create.

How did we get to this point of overthrowing life and the preciousness of our inter-dependence? Was it when we built the defenses of our own narcissistic wounding? Unable to feel our own pain and access our own needs, we sought to control the other instead, so we didn’t have to feel the hurt.

To get to this form of love, we need to be able to feel our own pain. To open to the betrayal of others. To become conscious of the ways in which we have betrayed ourselves. And once, we’ve felt this, we’re free to love again in a way that life matters. Are we not all longing for that kind of love?

In this story, why did the man turn off his meter? What if we were to live without meters? Where did the meters come from in the first place?

The soul has no boundaries or borders. It just knows love. How do we create healthy egos that can be vessels of the preciousness of our soul life and our inter-dependent need to be held on the journey?

For more self-study, The Urban Howl recommends The Universe Has Your Back: Transform Fear to Faith.

Sip a little more:

Cracking Through My Personal Bullshit — You Don’t Have To Be Perfect, To Be Loved

Kate Joyner - The Urban Howl


  1. Tanya Markul

    Gorgeous visions!!

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