Nine Signs Your Twin Flame Is Making Contact


The Twin Flame is one of those idealistic notions that may look a lot better in theory than practice. I’m sure everyone with an interest in the phenomenon of the Twin Flame feels it represents something they want, but how many of those people are aware of the work required to achieve that outcome and how many are prepared to actually do that work?

Let me begin by saying that by writing about it I’m not personally rendering a judgment on the notion of the Twin Flame one way or the other. It’s such a vague idea, so hard to get hold of, that it seems most useful as a working hypothesis, a conceptual container for experimental results that allows analysis to be carried out, conclusions to be drawn and additional experiments to be designed.

For me, being the esoteric scientist I am, it became useful as a tool to get a handle on an experience I was having and am still having. That’s what grounds my usage of the term and I think people get into danger if they fall in love with the idea, and then go looking for an experience that fits the shape of that idea.

There’s a lot of heady information out there on Twin Flames and ultimately the best way to digest it all is to filter it through your direct experience. And because it’s such an emotionally charged concept and so ripe for egocentric projection, it’s best to handle it with extreme caution.

So to begin with, the discussion of Twin Flames should begin with some qualifying questions:

  1. Why are you interested in Twin Flames (if there is such a thing)?
  2. What makes you think you’re ready to meet your Twin Flame (if there is such a person)?
  3. What are you expecting from your Twin Flame experience?

This brings to mind a story I recall from the days when I used to study Zen, about the postulants who knock on the door of the monastery because they want to join and are rudely turned away. Undeterred, they sleep on the doorstep and continue to harass the monks for days until they are grudgingly allowed to enter in order to get out of the weather but aren’t allowed to go any further than the front hall. This process continues step by step until they prove their dedication and are ultimately allowed to join the community.

If there is such a thing as a Twin Flame and if it corresponds to the experience I had and am having, it’s a lot like that.

Still interested?

Well then, are some insights I’ve gained into this vexing, perplexing phenomenon:

1. One or both of you are unlikely to be ready, so your first meeting will just be an initial reconnaissance.

2. Because of this, one or both of you might even deny that it’s a Twin Flame meeting or even a romantic connection.

3. In spite of this, you will experience a sort of connection that challenges your concept of selfhood.

4. You will have a strong sense of certainty about the situation, matched only by the terrifying uncertainty you will also experience.

5. You may find that the world recedes to give the two of you space for your dance, so for instance you may find that “normal” potential romantic partners no longer appear.

6. Since the largest part of this relationship exists outside the time/space continuum, you may encounter aspects of your Twin Flame expressing itself through more than one person in the form of identical actions, appearances and verbal statements.

7. Your ability to connect with each other as individuals will depend on your levels of integration, so togetherness will probably be preceded by a difficult period of separation during which you are both purified, a process that will only begin in earnest once you meet.

8. You don’t want the process to unfold too hastily because if you’re not both ready you’ll continue to trigger each other’s shadow aspects within the relationship and that’ll be ugly.

9. Be careful to distinguish between figure and ground: the Twin Flame is a higher dimensional phenomenon attempting to express itself in a lower realm through imperfect translators (one of which is you).

We’re used to the idea of immediate gratification and have been led to believe that love and sex can be ordered up as easily as a pizza or a book from Amazon. We’ve also been brainwashed into thinking that everyone else is having a great time, all the time. For this reason, I have found it helpful to be reminded of the way courting was done not too long ago, when the man would pursue his chosen female like the postulants asking for admittance to the monastery: patiently, devotedly and with a long-term vision.

Even in the darkest hours of what has been the most challenging and so far least rewarding experience I’ve ever had, I can admit that I am honoured to be given this opportunity to serve the Divine Feminine because I know She wants to be with me as much as I want to be with her.

Sip a little more:

Stop Denying Your Witchiness — Rise Through Shame And Fear

For more self-study, The Urban Howl recommends The Universe Has Your Back: Transform Fear to Faith.

The Urban Howl is an independent online magazine founded in 2016. We help creatives share their voice with the world. We provide a home for anyone, both emerging and established, and we can’t wait to read your magic : . . . @theurbanhowl . . .


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  2. anonymous

    how is your relationship now? any improvements?

  3. Dark Moon

    Thank you for this reflection on the whole TF mindfuck. My own twin flame experience has been a baptism by fire–especially lately (thank you eclipse season/Mars retrograde). The Song Habit, by Montreal band Ought, sums up the angst, and the unremitting anxiety that it’s actually ‘all in my head.’ We’ve been circling each other for three years now, but he sublimates our connection as pure carnality/adrenaline/a rebellion against the quotidian. Aquarius/young soul. Sigh. As a mystic with an empirical bent, and a healthy disdain for some of the fluffier twin flame lit out there, this was a refreshingly caustic take.

  4. Thank you for sharing your insights. I resonated with all that you had shared, as my experience is almost identical.
    I have read so many articles/blogs on the subject of Twin flames and all of them are flawed. I’m still astounded at how some believe their TF can be related to them!

  5. Hello,
    I’m not sure how to purchase your book. Writing you from usa, it’s the end of 2020. I am on this time’s journey since 2008. I hope you can let me know how to purchase your book?

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