No One Warned Me What It Would Be Like To Fall In Love
Nobody warned me what it would feel like to fall in love with you.
Nobody told me how the earth would open up and swallow me whole, caressing my body with her lush tongue as I was slowly devoured.
Nobody told me I would enjoy being devoured in that way.
Had I known though, had I known how you would crack me open and introduce me to aspects of my being that I didn’t know existed, had I known the magnitude of your ocean heart and how I would feel like the tiniest of ships exploring its vast infinity, had I known all this, would I have looked the other way rather than meeting your eyes?
Would I have missed out on that moment (*the* moment), so I could spare myself the indignity of looking like a fool in love?
Oh god, just ask me.
I’ll answer with my fingers, trembling on your cheekbone, a magnet for my polar fingertips. I’ll answer through the rush of desire that burns us wholly and completely. I’ll answer through lifetimes, each one answering the call of our wildly beating hearts. I’ll answer through the elements, soft rain and rushing wind caressing the leaves of tall trees.
I’m sure I was drawn to you, irresistible forces pulling us together before we knew the other one was ever there. Had I known of your existence, I know with the certainty born to me from my mother, the earth, that the pull of your moon to my tide could not be ignored.
That’s what I am, the tide. I ebb. I flow. I caress your rocky heart and over time wear it down to soft, pale sand, warm in my palm from the heat of the sun. Has this been multiple lifetimes of ebbing and flowing? Have we been here before? Now I stand here, before the very thought of you, the idea of you, the image of you. I stand here trembling.
No, that trembling, it’s just my quick-tempoed heartbeat pounding in my chest.
I stand here steady and sure, grounded by your eyes. I stand here, left hand on my breast and right hand on your shoulder. I stand here making a vow to you.
I vow to become worthy of your adoration. I vow to bring you flowers in the springtime if you bring fire in the winter. I vow to honor our humanity, accepting all that comes with this brave existence. I vow to kiss sorrow away from your lips when they’ve forgotten the taste of the sweetness of joy. I vow to be your anchor in the storm if you’ll be mine.
You are the one I’ve been waiting for.
For more self-study, The Urban Howl recommends 52 Ways to Live a Kick-Ass Life: BS-Free Wisdom to Ignite Your Inner Badass and Live the Life You Deserve.
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