The Conundrum Of Healing


We do need to go inside to heal,
and yet,
if all we find there is grief, shame, fear etc,
then how can we heal?

The answer is by activating the emotional healing mechanisms
we were born with.

Particularly our capacity for crying,
and healthy anger release.

If we activate both of those wings,
we will find our way through the pain
to a self-loving inner world.

We will shed the overwhelm of self-hatred.

Yet if we only activate one wing…
crying but not angering,
angering but not crying…
we keep ourselves trapped
inside a limited range of feeling.

We need both wings of expression
to free ourselves from this wall of pain.

In many ways,
and I realize that this is an over-generalization,
this is how our polarized gender conditioning
locked us inside of our own suffering.

Men could anger, but not cry.

Women could cry, but not anger.

And so we ended up mutually imbalanced.

This is why the gender-inclusivity revolution
is essential to our collective healing.
If we can shed these limiting ideas of gender
(and any other polarized notions of self),
we can shed our reliance on limited pathways of expression and finally heal.

All polarized conditionings
prevent us from healing and wholeness.

If you can only be one aspect of yourself,
you cannot heal the whole.

The way to true healing
is to grant everyone the permission to be,
and to feel,
all that they are.

Jeff is the author of Soulshaping: A Journey of Self-Creation, Ascending with Both Feet on the Ground: Words to Awaken your Heart and An Uncommon Bond.

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Jeff Brown is a breakthrough voice in the self-help/spirituality field, and the author of six popular books: Soulshaping: A Journey of Self-Creation, Ascending with Both Feet on the Ground, Love It Forward, An Uncommon Bond, Spiritual Graffiti, Grounded Spirituality. In his previous life, Jeff was a criminal lawyer and psychotherapist. Since pursuing his path as a writer, he has launched many initiatives, including founding Enrealment Press, and an online school, Soulshaping Institute. He is the producer and key journeyer of the award-winning spiritual documentary, Karmageddon, which also stars Ram Dass, Seane Corn, Deva Premal and Miten. He has written a series of inspirations for ABC's Good Morning America and appeared on over 200 radio shows. He also authored the viral blog 'Apologies to the Divine Feminine (from a warrior in transition).' A popular presence in social media, Jeff's new terms and well-loved quotes became a phenomenon some years ago, and continue to be shared actively by seekers and growers worldwide. In April, 2018, he was invited to Ottawa by Sophie Grégoire Trudeau—gender equality activist and the wife of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau—to film a conversation with her about emotional healing and inclusivity. Excerpts from that dialogue are viewable on Sophie's Facebook and Instagram pages. Jeff currently lives in Canada with his wife, poet Susan Frybort. At present, he is getting caught up on lost sleep after writing Grounded Spirituality, and preparing for the next stages of his creative journey and path of sacred activism. You can connect with his work at,, and

  1. Kimberley Baxter

    ❤️🦋Good Work! 🙏🌷

  2. Wow. I love this and the insight about gender-inclusivity being a key to our healing by getting rid of polarized notions of self. That is great.

  3. Janet Ballard

    <3 I love everything this man writes! His voice brings clarity and inspiration to a wounded world <3

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