Like many who have spoken out, I am not sure where to begin.
I guess I could talk about the first time a guy I trusted took advantage of me, or I could articulate how it felt just as horrible after the second time — or the third time or the fourth. I suppose I could tell those stories, but I refuse to be defined by these downright sickening moments in my past.
Perhaps, like other women, we know how normal it is to be forced to do something completely uncomfortable in the bedroom. We all know the feeling of powerlessness, so the thinking is: maybe my story is not so important compared to a young woman in India who is raped on the streets. Or a little girl in Africa stolen from her home to be a sex slave to a soldier. Or a woman in America who is beaten, threatened, and sexually abused by her husband.
My experiences are mild compared to these. And yet, no matter how intense a person is pained, when her body is exploited, her safety is disrupted, her heart is broken.
Her soul is suddenly concealed behind a shell, shielded from all things good or bad in the world.
Every man who has touched me wrongly or used me to satisfy his own desires, stole from me, bit by bit, the connection I had to my own body. To this day, I am learning how to find my way home. Like many women, I am still healing.
So it seems, Harvey Weinstein has become the much-needed catalyst for a cultural awakening. To the women who suffered under his sack-slinging power-trip, I send you my love. To all the women and men who have suffered rape, molestation, assault, and discrimination at the hands of a foul-hearted creep, I send you courage to step into your power.
It is time to reclaim our hearts and souls.
It seems like since the beginning of time, the powers that be would imagine ways to strip women of their humanness. Which begs the question: why are men so innately threatened by women?
Perhaps men inherently understand all human life depends on the existence of women. Maybe the male subconscious mind is aware of the parallel between Mother Nature and a woman’s nature to give without expectation, to intuitively understand the sacredness of life, and to express a deep, other-worldly empathy for all beings.
Or maybe women today simply have no idea that their own light could put a thousand suns to shame. And that the love they hold in the cockles of their fiery hearts could bring a world to its knees, and raise it back up again in the name of harmony.
Women, you are unbelievably powerful!
I am grateful for the strong masculine presence in my life because it taught me how to be a “tough girl”. I have three absolutely brilliant brothers and one awe-inspiring father. These guys have always, whether they knew it or not, empowered me to be bold.
But the real spirit behind my confidence as a woman is my mother. My mom has, from day one, taught my brothers and modeled for me the importance of feminism. I was born a feminist and it might be the proudest thing I ever claim to be.
Thus, instead of pointing my finger at the general male public — despite the fact that many of them still need to wake up — I find it more productive to spark the divine feminine fire within the core of each and every person.
Whether you have testes or tits, try to embrace that female energy swirling in your center. Be sympathetic, be emotional, be compassionate, nurturing, thoughtful — these are all qualities associated with women, and have exactly the right nutrients our malnourished society desperately craves.
Inspire your feminine power. Heal your wounds. Surrender and let those stubborn tears fall.
Allowing yourself to be vulnerable enough to cry is single-handedly the most incredible thing you can do for your healing. When we cry, trapped emotions loosen like snowflakes from our eyes, thawing the winter heart to make room for a fertile spring. One must face her pain, whisper a soft, windblown remedy, and one must let that misery go.
Yes, our culture objectifies women — we will change that.
Yes, our leaders openly disgrace women and are strangers to their own femininity — we will change that.
The question is: how will we do it?
Last night, I had a dream. I am becoming rather emotional now as I type because, when I wrote out my dream, I knew it was significant, but the meaning was unclear. Until now…
I am feeling anxious and there seems to be a dark energy around the open area. I am with a group of women who are also clearly unsettled by this haunting presence. There seems to be a command coming from the omnipresent energy within the dreamscape. The thing demands us to sing and declares that those who do not sing well will be kidnapped and taken from the circle. Without hesitation, a few beautiful women with pure voices begin to sing. I soon join in and my voice is sweet, complementing the other female voices well. We hold hands as we sing and the mood shifts, the dark energy transforms into light. Our unity creates a soothing yellow aura. I remember feeling very empowered and unafraid. We became the fearless women I see in my dreams.
It brings to mind the idea that our culture eats the soul of a woman, but discards the flesh and bone. The media highlights, defines, and sells the ideal female body, but rejects and alienates the real, dynamic, infinite female form.
We are constantly pressured to perform — perform for our male counterparts, perform for our equality, perform for our acknowledgment as human beings.
In this dawn of feminine resurgence on the planet, I implore all women to sing their stories loudly. Sing for love and sing for the greater good of all people.
For, together, we will transform our grief into fearless, unwavering joy.
I am returning home to my body and I invite you to come home, too.
Sing the song in your heart and I will sing mine, too.
For more self-study, The Urban Howl recommends The Inner Voice of Love: A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom.
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