I Choose Authenticity Vs. Comparing, Competing & Corroding


Here’s an interesting side effect of walking the Authentic Self journey. As we start to look at the deepest levels of ourselves, we begin to develop the talents of this beautifully gilded knife called Authenticity.

It starts to cut away all the bullsh*t that we’ve ever lived through, seen, felt, experienced — basically, whatever cluster of variables in every which way it can present itself. The more we do the work of staring at the gilded mirror within our Soul, the more we learn from it. The more we learn from it, the more the knife becomes a beautiful warrior’s weapon.

Authenticity does not mean seeing the faults and flaws in only others. That is not what we are discussing here. There is no authenticity in pointing fingers outwards without any effort to make the journey ourselves.

Intuition and discernment are the two gifts that begin growing quite quickly as we start becoming more and more aware of who we really are. As awareness increases, so does the ability to tell the truth.

However, we will never, ever be able to hold on to any form of authenticity if we do not first start taking responsibility for ourselves.

Once we take responsibility for ourselves, we then begin taking ownership of all our actions and choices. Every. Single. Last. One. The sh*tty ones. The not-so-nice ones. The fabulous ones. The amazing ones. The downright mean ones. Everything.

I know that when we are all journeying towards authenticity, we will be in a space where we are able to base any interaction with others on their ability to present as their authentic selves. That includes showing any “flaws” with humble honesty, rather than hiding behind elaborate masks made out of made up bullsh*t. Where we are able to stand exposed before another, stripped down to the barest self we are able to show up as on any given day.

Taking ownership of all our actions is an integral part of the authentic self journey. Tolerance towards any kind of bullsh*t seriously takes a nosedive once we embark on this path, simply because it is not necessary anymore.

If we are not able to contemplate doing any of the above at all, it is good to ask some Why questions.

At the core, why do we pretend to be someone we are not? It is quite likely we may feel that how much we pretend directly correlates to how much we want other people to accept us. We don’t feel good enough to narrate our true stories.

And so we start comparing, competing, and corroding.

When we are in pretense mode, we compare ourselves to the person(s) whose shoes we want to be wearing. Never stopping to understand that this person would have had to take their own journey to get to that exact space where they are right now. In these instances, we fail to look at our own strengths and what makes us special. We think that it would be far better to be like the person we admire.

We compete and put great expectations on ourselves. We then end up putting great expectations on other people.

And when we don’t meet our expectations of self, or others don’t meet the expectations we impose on them, it becomes The Tale of the Great Disappointment that we have essentially created for ourselves.

This is a pattern that keeps emerging and repeating itself. The foundations of this can be found in judgment, as much as we might dislike admitting it to ourselves. Judgment of self is always what causes us to judge others.

When we are in this space of judgment, the way we perceive others is really just a mirror of the way we look at ourselves. We judge others because we are too afraid to look within ourselves at our own bullsh*t that is trying to emerge. Too scared that if we look at it, others will see it too, and judge us we are judging them! A pattern that we all help each other create.

A severe lack of discernment will mean that when we start becoming unhappy at the repeating scenarios in our lives, we will just look at the actors that enact the screenplay in this particular scene, never once thinking to look at the dynamics of the script itself.

At this point, we begin to start corroding. The envious vibes that become so necessary to inflate that balloon of comparison start to eat away at the spirit within. The expectations that we place on self and others place a heavy burden on the same spirit. It begins to create deep unhappiness that spills over into other areas of our life. We don’t feel good enough so we start urging others to be better.

Sometimes we do this by pointing out all their flaws and making them feel as small as possible. Our children, spouses, co-workers, neighbours … no one will ever be good enough because we are not good enough.

When they get to the point where they don’t feel good enough, the cycle begins again. Compare, compete, and corrode.

Albert Einstein once wrote, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

The question I have for you at this point of our journey together is, “What is your genius?”

Something has got to give here. There will always be actors on that stage and yet, the only performance we can ever change is our own. If we don’t like the performance we are in, we can move. Take part in another one. Write our own. Co-produce with another. Write one with ten or twenty other like-minded people.

If we will not look within to our true selves, then we will continue to make up all sorts of bullshit and present our fake selves to the world. However, here’s the real kicker about presenting this façade to the world. Since this is not our natural state of being, that gilded mirror within your soul will start projecting what you are outward. And you begin to call in to you the fellow actors that match the performance sheet and script that you are holding and enacting in your hands right now.

So if you ever wonder why you attract the same kind of actors to you, I would like to tell you today that it has nothing to do with the role players that surround you. You completely have the ability to change this. However, everything starts from within. It starts the moment we decide to take responsibility for ourselves.

Behold the gilded mirror inside, the window to the soul within.

Lalita Simon-Creasey

Lalita Simon-Creasey has been a rebel all her life and struggles to conform to what the world wants her to be. She has an intense passionate love affair with walking as much as she can as her Authentic Self and this is why she loves her life’s purpose so much. As a Medium and Way Shower, she guides people on transformative Soul Quests to uncover their Authentic Self within. When she is not talking to people about Authentic Selves, she shares her divinely inspired soulful insights on her Facebook page with the purpose to inspire her readers to be the change they want to see. She also runs a household that seems chaotic and messy at times but with a perfectly content husband and two children who, like her, don’t seem to conform all that well either! You can also connect with Lalita at Soulful Insights on Facebook or Instagram.

  1. I loved this. Thank you. What do you suggest are ways to take responsibility for ones self?

    • Dear Brianna,

      Apologies for the delay in responding and thank you so much for your lovely comment.

      One of the best ways to do this, in my humble opinion, is to step away from the victim mode. The victim mode is when we blame everyone else for the things that happen to us. Whilst other people may play a role in what happens to us, we can choose to empower ourselves by looking within ourselves for answers.

      There is so much that can, and should be said about this topic. Feel free to connect with me on my Facebook or Instagram pages. I explore the Authentic Self as much as I can on my posts and some of it may resonate for you.

      Blessed Be,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This