She Is Made Up Of Seasons, Not Moods & She Doesn’t Need You To Save Her
Her whole world collapsed right before her eyes. Her Soul ripped from her body, she fell to her knees and cried. She felt abandoned, alone, and betrayed by the lies. She begged the Gods to answer her, to give answers to the “whys.”
She spiraled deeper into her darkness and needed to lose herself along the way. For the old Woman needed to die, so that she could birth a new day. Her Shadows consumed her and she numbed the pain with every drug. But she kept digging up the bones she buried. In the mud, barefoot — she dug.
These bones she buried are the Goddess she needed to become. Piece by piece, she placed each bone until all that lay before her was One. The new Goddess being built, the process not without pain. For to shed the skin of who you were, quite literally, drives you insane. You feel the death of the old, like a true death to your Soul. She knew she had to break apart before she could ever become whole.
In and out, Light and Dark, back and forth she goes. She goes through this madness of Life/Death/Life alone; her pain is not something she shows. Because unless you have died and re-birthed yourself, it is an unfathomable pain.
So if you know her, please be patient and kind. She’s not looking for you to save her, she is not someone you can find. She just needs you to be understanding as she keeps to herself at times. Trust she will emerge brand new, full of light and sunshine.
She’s almost finished now, she’s starting her journey back home. She is in no rush, however, and allows her Wild to roam. She knows what she’s doing, even if she appears to be Mad. We are all a little crazy here; when what we have becomes what we had. Do not look at her with pity or eyes filled with tears. She is a fucking Warrior Goddess, ancient beyond her years.
She is made up of Seasons, not moods just on the surface. She is Summertime full with love and is giving of service. She is Fall, at times turning inward for introspection. She builds up her energy and dreams to save in her collection. These are the items she will need when it is time to do her reflection.
For then She becomes Winter, where all things must die. A time when she is still and silent, and all of her energy is bone-dry. But Winter is her favorite season, because she is able to release what no longer serves her. And, as springtime approaches, she feels the new beginnings start to bubble and stir.
Her Spring is magnificent with all the buzzing of her new dreams. This is when you love her most, when her light blinds you with its beams. But, to love her completely, you must love all of her extremes. You have to see she moves in and out of her Shadows, and love her Angels as well as her Demons.
You cannot just love her Spring and Summer; you must also love her Fall and slumber. But it is her Winter when she needs your love most. When she dips into the other realm and her presence is only a ghost. You need to love her when she’s Wild and spiraling in her darkness.
Understand she’s not being cold and definitely not heartless. She is just dancing with her demons, and her wings she sharpens. Do not fear my love, she will not come back tarnished. She is destroying all the old and setting fire to the carnage!
She will re-emerge with a new fire in her eyes and an energy in her body. She is reincarnated love, she is the true Wild Woman embodied.
For more self-study, The Urban Howl recommends The Universe Has Your Back: Transform Fear to Faith.
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