Right now. If my life is a prayer, which it is, what is it saying?
It’s saying: May help come to those who silently struggle thinking “this is it.” For those who speak not for their fears, but instead, travel on. Great Spirit, please make these things known. What would have been seen, and what medicine would they have spread to the world had their voices been louder, if they hadn’t had their throats cut in the name of survival? And on top of this suffering, they still live in presence, watching it all, staying somehow in faith. May help, may clarity of how to navigate our world come to them.
There is so much struggle here. But, there is also so much newly built, incredible love, enough to form another Universe of love, with awareness, and determination, and grace.
If my admission of struggle causes you to say, “you have the power inside you to change anything if you will just believe it,” you do not live the same kind of life as I. Yes, I have the power. But, change is dependent on many other factors that cannot in good faith be ignored. We are all one system. I do not abandon my sacred station. I’ve rooted in here. I’ve grown tall through many seasons here. I can see, feel, and know how to heal from here.
Life runs fast for better or worse. In a blitz, my perceived struggles are buried again and again. The spiral life turns over so much to be brought to other things faster than I gain footing to start. I watch brilliant gifts come and go without my hands available to manifest. Lost in time, I am slave in this incarnation. Yet, somehow I know my magic is spread despite not having my hands in it.
I am the racing horse who finds stillness in the wind.
At first, the wind was a struggle. It tormented me as I had nothing to do other than run my race in it.
Then the wind turned into simple breath, the breath of life.
I knew not the way here and didn’t care. I had other faith. As still in my eyes, if you care to see, I giveth my image clearly though I know myself not.
If ever beaten or battered I know it’s the wind changing directions, and so must I to collect my feed.
The wind is life energy that flows through me.
My heart is a lightning rod. My eyes, stems through which light flows.
I am a weapon. I am ancient. I am here. I am love.
Trusting in the flow, this life, this journey, this abyss, I travel on to and fro.
You may see me and see lots of things.
With no identity, I am no-thing. But, I am everything in congruence with the light of love. Allow me to make my path. Watch me as I make ways to freedom.
Leahann’s Heart Howl:
Your fullest life is coming. As life changes, so will you. And, more of you will be revealed onto yourself, and then so to others.
. . .
For more self-study, The Urban Howl recommends Tears to Triumph: The Spiritual Journey from Suffering to Enlightenment.
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