By Krissy VanAlstyne HOLY FIRE

Stop Meddling & Let Everyone Experience Their Own Way Home


Be An Invite — Not The Uninvited

If we think, for a second, that adult to adult, we know a better way for someone else’s journey, we are seriously out of alignment with truth, with love, with our self as a whole, and with what our role here is, in the collective. And other people’s too.

Every single one of us has our own path to walk, our own lineage to heal, our own shadow bits to face, our own life to live, and when it comes to anyone other than self, we do not know best, regardless of the lies we may tell ourselves to believe otherwise. How one does their path, is based on their free-will choices to do so and for the divine evolution needed.

It is a plan that is well beyond any of our human minds’ ability to comprehend. But, in the knowing, the curiosity of this truth, the feeling it provides in the heart of those who we can see beyond what the two eyes on our face shows us, we know.

If it’s not our life, it’s not our business to be meddling in, quite frankly. But even with this truth, the mysterious human nature that is conditioned into so many still happens, regardless.

It’s a damn plague really, if you ask me. It’s an epidemic of egoic spiritual personas, which is actually a bit of a whistle-blower for the self who is acting this way to start looking harder within, instead of at anyone else. More on that, a bit later.

First let me say this. However it is that we meet others, whatever we may think, whatever side of the understanding that we are on, in the words of one of my favourite humans, Matt Kahn: “It’s all for love” anyway and that I respect. But in this piece, I’m leaning toward the awareness of when it comes to how we can show up as an invite or, uninvited in another’s experience.

This piece, like all my pieces, is an invite. Take what one needs and leave the rest, but nonetheless an example of being an invite.

You are reading this by choice, by invitation, perhaps from the title alone or because you have enjoyed my other invites by way of writing, and have felt what it feels like to absorb the energy of an invite. It’s a high-frequency, nourishing, kind of energy, that feeds us at soul level.

The energy will always feel free, uplifting, encouraging, reassuring, and not like the guilt, shame, high-tension, heavy feeling, low vibration energy that we cannot always explain but that we feel within when we sense someone is showing up, uninvited. And usually with opinions and judgment to our own processes and a sense of needing to fix something that is not even broken.

To be an invite, to me, means knowing how to show up in our own truths in a way that doesn’t interfere with another’s. We respond when we are invited to, we don’t cast judgment, and we certainly do not believe that we know better than the person in front of us — and if we do, we are ultimately showing our self that we have our own work to do.

Because, under no circumstances, when dealing adult to adult, do we know any better than the person in front of us, who is walking the path.

We need to walk our own path with the love from those around us as we go. We need to not feel shamed, feel judged, or feel as if what we are doing isn’t the best possible way to our own truth, our own destiny. Because it is.

And if you do not believe that, that’s okay, too. Perhaps this is your invite then, to identify some deeply buried unmet needs that are waiting to be seen. An unmet need to be and feel powerful. An unmet need to feel smart. When we show up, uninvited, thinking we know best for another and feel our truth is to be written over someone else’s, it is our unmet needs showing up for us.

Often, we can tell ourselves things like, “I just want to help,” “I love this person,” “I want the best for them,” “I made the same mistakes and I want to save them from pain,” or whatever other little lies our mind hopes that we will believe.

Ya, no. None of this is actually true, whatsoever. Those are just opportunities to justify our behaviour and continue to not listen to our unmet needs.

If we want to help, to be love, to offer the best for anyone, I invite you to see that there is nothing to save and that pain is the very gateway to all healing anyway.

We show up in these beliefs looking to rescue someone that doesn’t need rescuing and in deeply non-conscious ways, when it really our own self that we are attempting to rescue.

Why? Because we have yet to be with the unmet, underlying needs we have that are manifesting in this need to think and act in ways that are rather, uninviting.

How I got to my peace, my healing, my sacred truth, and to the core of why I’m here, was done on my own. And if there was any intervention — which there was — it was based on me asking or seeking the help from the professionals or friends I was feeling aligned with.

I invited it in — it didn’t invite itself. In fact, the more I accessed my truth, and the power within the invite, the more of a turn-off it became when people attempted to “fix” or show up, uninvited. We — none of us — need fixing. We need to be loved as is, and trusted that our way is the only way for us.

Because it is.

And if we do not trust that, then we clearly do not trust self. Let the showing of our thoughts and actions, in these situations, be the invite for us to see this truth asking to be heard.

Did you learn all you did because someone told you or because you experienced it for yourself?

We can only truly learn and embody by experiencing. We are the only ones who can experience our own truth and our own way home.

So I invite you, if you are not already doing so, to let everyone experience their own way home.

Photo by Drew Hays on Unsplash

For more self-study, The Urban Howl recommends Tears to Triumph: The Spiritual Journey from Suffering to Enlightenment.

Sip a little more:

Dear Sensitive Creatures — We Need You At Your Most

The Feminine Is Awake & She’s Pretty F*cking Pissed

Hold Our Beloved In Our Hearts — But Let Them Heal Their Wounds Through Theirs

At The Urban Howl, you won’t find any doors leading you away from your life. We’ll guide you deeper in. Another world is not only possible, it’s here. Around you and within you. It’s where the forest meets the city limits; where your dreams touch concrete. It’s where the light touches the enchanted forest; where your pulse meets infinity. It’s spiritual electricity. It’s wild imagination. It’s autonomous action. Get ready to embark on a path that will enliven your life, give personal meaning, and possibly save the world. Welcome to the frontline of the NEW magical paradigm . . . . . .


Krissy VanAlstyne

Krissy VanAlstyne is a fiery force. One who shows up intimately transparent in her truth, inspiring others to do the same. She does so in her private life, through her writing, and in her heart's earthly work, as a Life Coach. Krissy offers soul-level support, and guidance to those aligning with their deepest truths, exploring their darkest shadows, and who are experiencing the painful dismantling that comes with awakening. She's a woman on a soul-driven mission, an invite back to all we have ever forgotten—that we are love, that we are truth, and that we are powerful beyond our wildest dreams. She knows we are all here for great purpose, and reminds us of this knowing in the mesmerizingly complex simplicity that she continues to stand in—the fire that is her. Find her on Facebook and Instagram.

  1. Crazy, while reading this I was thinking of who “needs” to hear this, that I can tag on Facebook. I quickly realized that would be completely missing the point…

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