BY D. RAE
Awaking Into Shadow Work
I grew up believing that I could clean my room with the wave of my wand. When I closed my eyes, waved my wand…nothing. I was sad, I felt broken.
Fast forward 20-something years later, and magic is more real than I thought. The awakening moments of my true being have been true all along. I am a witch, I am magical. Not the bibbidi-bobbidi-boo kind, but a whole other kind that would make the Fairy Godmother quiver in the pumpkin patch.
A part of being aware is really, being aware in all aspects. One aspect is the dark side of us — our shadow work. This is a very extraordinary way of healing. I have not fully allowed myself permission to accept the work as I go through each layer. I hold on to it, not wanting to let go. A part of me holds back so I don’t have to live the truth of who I really am.
As I write this, I even see a part of myself awaken to another part of my healing. I’ve had this overwhelming idea that healing is only done by laying of the hands, shaman work, crystals, sound bowls, etc. I am my own shaman, my own healer, and I have only witnessed the pain of the past. Unraveling myself into an experience of no longer wanting what no longer serves a purpose. I no longer want to experience the physical pain I go through, mental pain, pain that my soul has carried.
I want it all to go away, but to do so, I have to face my fears and listen to the words, “I am enough.”
Balancing the scales of my own darkness, unraveling the truth of past lives up to this point is not an easy task. When a wound is unraveled from centuries ago, I feel the scarring it has left behind. I see how it has affected me up to this point of life, and how hard it is to let it go.
This is where my dark lays the heaviest. Magic soothes my soul, but at the same time, to accept it in the real world scares me back into my shadow. A witch at heart, practicing magic is not too natural among this common world. My shadow work is that of a witch who was practicing white magic, accused of evil, which caused death.
If I am to speak up now, I fear the judgment of others. I have held back on even the practice of it because I fear that I would not be accepted among those who are so gifted. As I hold back within the limits I created, I can feel a part of me trying to emerge in ways that make me feel as if I will die if I take the step of being true.
Shadow work is the layers of our past. When the time and place aligns, we carefully unfold each layer.
We look at it, hold it, understand the where and why of it; as we lay it all out, we relive that pain of it. This is where the healing really starts to begin. We see parts of us from the outside in. In those moments, we come alive once more. The path opens the opportunity to abide by the truth that it is.
The pain is not the suffering of the wound, but the healing. We are to look at it from all angles, opening the wounds, finding peace and the allowance to let it go. We have found comfort in living in the distress of our shadow, we are a victim and we like it.
This is part of the dark that we have been conditioned over centuries not to use. Not to turn to magic when we are ill, lose our way, or to look beyond our veil. We have lost our connection from that which we came from, and the Earthly boundaries of our past have set our restrictions.
As we are in the Aquarian age, we are opening the parts of ourselves that we have lost, from shaming them to embrace them. This is just a part of our shadow work to be done as we live on in our journey through time. We expand our awareness into a parallel that is expanding and true, it seems so unreal.
We forget Earth is our heaven. We get to experience all emotions, feelings, and all the consequences that come with them. The shadow work is the part of life we are to embrace, no longer living in fear and shame of what once was. As we grow and expand on what has once diluted our core being, we flourish in the awareness of our own being.
Heart Howl: Light holds us in contempt until we are ready for the truth of the darkness. Darkness holds us in contempt until we are ready for the light.
For more self-study, The Urban Howl recommends The Universe Has Your Back: Transform Fear to Faith.
Sip a little more: