BY ELISE HEYWARD
Triggers — those moments in time when common sense doesn’t apply to a deep energy that courses through us. Of course, if we’re unaware of what’s happening within, we can project out and all over the source of the trigger…the very trigger which has been gifted to us as a way of going deeply within and reflecting on what it is we are being shown!
We can use triggers as tools to know ourselves on a deeper level and dredge up hidden parts of self that this person or situation brings to light. Hold onto your seats because triggers are a doozie!
If you’re not ready to look at Self, then “go and peel potatoes,” as one of my favourite teachers, Caroline Myss, sums up perfectly in ‘Entering the Castle’. Because “you’re not ready for this work and you may never be.” Harsh, I know, but let’s not dance around it anymore! Let’s enter from a place of being responsible for our growth, being responsible for the way we exist whilst walking our path…
I’ve witnessed one of the most spineless ways people can approach triggers whilst being on a faceless internet — full of false bravado — even just being plain mean, in ways most wouldn’t dare to behave in the face of another person.
The energy is palpable behind the commenter. There’s a difference between disagreeing on a point of view and spewing all over the person who had the guts to post it in the first place — even in online communities of women!
So, where’s the truth that can’t be looked at within Self when there’s a need to aggressively comment? Where’s the truth deeply hidden when there’s zero compassion for the being who posted whist replying to a comment? Is there trauma? Deep pain? What the hell is it? It’s okay to not even know, but awareness of the trigger — and why you’re behaving a certain way — is an essential step to entering the wonderful world of knowing thyself (the good, the bad and the ugly).
The days of pointing our finger are over. If you feel the need to pull apart this writing and find all of the faults instead of looking within — that’s cool!! Go peel potatoes.
We all share different perspectives — that’s a beautiful thing! What’s screaming to be owned collectively is the responsibility for our own triggers and the ability to look at what’s underneath. There are gifts there — hidden gems. Step up into the fire of truth! Join me there.
I’ve been in the fire of truth for months now — witnessing and moderating an awesome group. I’ve been in the fire about writing this for months now, too…feeling into my own triggers…feeling into the cleanliness of delivering this type of message to a group of open, beautiful souls with huge fucking love spraying out from my heart space as I do it.
This work is not unknown to me — living daily with triggers and feeling into what’s mine, what is others’ and what is just fucking truth burning me up so much that it hurts not to release it. And women, the latter is true for me. I am not perfect. I am as messy as the next person. I’m not speaking to the perfectionist in you, or the hurt little girl. I’m speaking beyond that.
Can we have the courage to look at our buried shit? Through our triggers, without projecting outwards?
Shadow work is my life. It’s what sets my soul alight (I know — it sounds nuts). There are always opportunities to go into more and more layers, to uncover the truths that lie under the ‘rubble’. A group is a tool to dive in deeper, and uncover more of Self, to live authentically. Triggers are the ignition to turn the gaze inwards. Enough of the disparity, the projections, the wallowing over crap that serves as distraction and not part of our authentic soul paths.
Let’s unite in the fiery truth.
Or perhaps you feel ‘shamed’ right now? Look within before you use that word here. That’s a word/emotion that’s too often exploited…used to wrap ourselves in false safety, with a ‘you can’t touch me’ kind of feel. Well, I’m going there, too!
The truth is — it’s a projection. If you truly feel shame, find out why! Don’t spew that proverbial vomit on me or anyone else who stands in this fire. With all of the love I can muster — stop misusing the word ‘shame’! And start asking the deeper questions. Why am I feeling this way? Am I triggered? Is there truth in this for me?
Linked to the low shaming vibration is also victim blaming. Nope! Sorry! Won’t cop that either. You want to stay in that place? Fine. But don’t project that word onto me or anyone else prepared to look at the truth. It’s not in service to allow this low vibration and it’s not doing you any good to place a mat on top of your pain, scars and gaping fucking wounds.
Get real with yourself. Or go peel potatoes.
For more self-study, The Urban Howl recommends 52 Ways to Live a Kick-Ass Life: BS-Free Wisdom to Ignite Your Inner Badass and Live the Life You Deserve.
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