Love Yourself Through, Friends — Because Empathy Starts With You


“If you truly loved yourself, you could never hurt another.” ~ Buddha

Empathy is a bit of a buzzword at the moment, for all the right reasons.

Empathy is emotional intelligence. To empathise is to put yourself in the shoes of another, to see through their eyes and convey that understanding. The ability to empathise is the vehicle through which we convey love, kindness, compassion, and acceptance to one another.

Why do humans struggle with empathy?

The ability to truly empathise with another starts with extending empathy to yourself. We can attempt to empathise with other people, but until we can show true love, compassion, and non-judgment to ourselves, we will always struggle not to judge other people. When we judge other people we are, in effect, judging ourselves. When we lack empathy for another being we lack empathy for ourselves.

Judgment and empathy cannot coincide together.

If empathy is the ability to stand in the shoes of another person and see through their eyes, how we can we empathise with ourselves?

The person I am today, writing these words, is not the person I was yesterday, last week, last month, or last decade.

I am not the victim of my childhood or the survivor of my early adult life.

I am not the pain I suffered or the pain I caused others.

Through this understanding, I can look at myself in the past with empathy, with kindness and with compassion.

By extending empathy to the person I was in the past, through my eyes of today, I rise above any negative emotions; pain, shame, grief, anger, and every other emotion that I’m scared to face and extend understanding to myself, for all my struggles.

Through this understanding, I am able to deal with the residual feelings of the past that I need to let go. I can see what I need to change in terms of my thoughts, beliefs, and conditioning in the present to stop the past affecting my future.

I love myself through, deeply, compassionately, and without judgment. By truly accepting myself and my struggles in life through the gift of empathy, I can go on to extend empathy as the vehicle of kindness and compassion to others.

This is why empathy must start with you. It doesn’t matter whether you have been hurt or hurt others. True empathy starts with compassion and self-love for you. It’s the greatest act of self-love and leads to an increase in self-confidence, self-worth, and self-belief.

So love yourself through my friends. Extend love, kindness, and compassion to yourself in the past as the person you are in the now. By extending love to yourself in past, you change your future for the better.

Once you truly love yourself, you could never hurt another.

. . .

Women try to tame themselves as they get older but the women who feel and look the best are the ones who grow wilder. Will you join me on my Growing Wilder E-Course and awaken your wild spirit?

Check out my Growing Wilder E-Course and be the woman who never backed down from life.

Photo by Marco Xu on Unsplash

Sip a little more:

Beware The Saviour Complex: There Is Only One Person You Can Save And That Is You

Find Your Roar: Nice Girls Don’t Get Angry

10 Ways To Embrace Living As A Wild Woman

A HOMEMADE 13-STEP PROGRAM FOR LIVING AN AUTHENTIC LIFE "Have no apologies for who you are. If you fit in, great. Perhaps you found your tribe. If you don’t fit in, don’t beat yourself up about it. If you feel like the people around you aren’t speaking your language, perhaps it’s time to explore new flocks. Be brave and true to who you are—wearing unnecessary masks just to fit in or avoid facing the reality of YOU can make life feel hopeless and imprisoned! Even in a crowd of faces, it’s easy to feel lonely if we aren’t being ourselves and if the people around us don’t appreciate who we are. Take back your right to be you in front of everyone and in every situation. When you are yourself, you not only invite others to do the same, but you become a bright watch tower for the people you’d wish would find you." —Tanya Markul of Thug Unicorn by Tanya Markul Read more: #THEURBANHOWL #HOWLFORYOURLIFE @kayharr73 @ladypantzz @thugunicorn @dharmaunicorn

. . .


  1. Pingback: Confessions Of A Grieving Co-Dependent, Who’s Now With Her One True Love – The Urban Howl

  2. Pingback: To All Of You Who Swallowed The Beauty Myth — They Lied – The Urban Howl

  3. Pingback: ***NEEDS BIO*** Slow Down, Love — And Learn To Be Okay With Not Being Okay – The Urban Howl

  4. Pingback: Slow Down, Love — And Learn To Be Okay With Not Being Okay – The Urban Howl

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This