By Krissy VanAlstyne WAKING WILD

Sensitive Soul, Your Sexuality Is Sacred — Be Careful Who You Exchange Energy With


As a sensitive soul, we feel the double-edged sword of pain in any relationship. We feel our own pain, and the pain that belongs to the ones we are close to.

If we have moved away from a space that was harmful for us, out of our own protection, we not only feel our own pain, but we also deeply feel the pain of the person who mistreated us, too.

I’m deeply empathic this way.

It hurts me to know that someone is in pain.

I can feel their pain as if it were my own. So, when moving away from someone who was harmful and in pain, the combination of untangling and healing my own pain — and feeling theirs too — is a bit layered and tricky to resolve.

It takes a lot of time, patience, and practice when healing pain — to let it flow through us as it needs.

It seems to linger when the pain was really deeply rooted and exchanged with someone we were really close to.

Especially if we were sexually involved with the person too.

This is something new for me to speak about, so please bear with me.

Sexual energy, when physically shared, allows another person’s energy, literally inside us. It’s not just around us or on us. Which is something a sensitive can feel profoundly enough as it is, but now it’s inside of us, too. This adds a whole new layer to things, and we do not think or talk about this aspect much. If at all.

And a person’s pain energy material, I have found, is really sticky and mucky energy for us to dissolve and clear from us when it shows up in our worlds. But, it gets into us that much more richly, complicating things when exposed sexually to us too.

Think about that sex thing for a minute.

Not too many of us stop to think about this truth. The notion about energy, and shared sexual spaces. Sex, to me, is so sacred for so many reasons, especially knowing that every sexual partner that you allow into your body, not just your heart, or your space in general, will leave their energetic imprint in you.

Add another layer to this too — every partner you sleep with is carrying the energy of every other partner they have slept with too, in some way or another. And, as I said, pain energy seems to be really thick and sticky, and it isn’t being cleared out before it comes to meet you.

Personally, this makes me cringe and want to protect my sacredness that much more.

And as far as I see it, so much casual sex and multiple partner situations, are a hell of a lot of people who are in pain, sharing that pain energy with each other. Taking energetic pieces of each other everywhere they go. Adding in another layer, to that already painful energy in them, before they end up in your bed or you in theirs.


Sex isn’t just physical play and orgasms with a physical body, like so much of society uses it as, it’s an exchange of energy between energetic beings. And often — don’t shoot the messenger here — sex is used as an escape/avoidance/numbing tactic of the pain that so many are in. When really all that’s doing is offering an exchange of more pain and mucky energy with someone else’s, which is really making the inner matter that much worse.

We can use sex to heal and deeply connect two beings — or use sex to reveal the pain that lives within. We either treat our body with sacred knowing — or we don’t.

So, as a sensitive, empathic being, it is really, really wise, to be extra mindful of your sexual energy and the sexual energy of anyone you might want to intermingle with.

Whatever vibrations you are allowing into your sacred sexual physical body will impact us in ways that so many people do not stop to think about. We just aren’t talking about it. Something I’m hoping to shift.

If we mingle in this way, with low vibrational people, going after sex from a low vibrational space, you invite that low vibrational, sticky and mucky layers from so many into your body which will affect you, and take much time to clear out.

This is not a judgment on anyone’s sexual nature, it’s a damn wake-up call, to the ones who want to be that much more aware of how energy bodies are affected, especially sexually, and especially when you’re highly sensitive. Or it’s a, hey — you’re not alone in this knowing, too!

Really, whether you’re highly sensitive or not, bringing more awareness to what happens when we share sexual energy, is just plain wise, period.

Condoms may protect from many unwanted sexually transmitted physical things, but it will not protect you from any unwanted sexually transmitted, energetic things.

And that shit just may be even scarier.

So treat your body as a sacred and delicate space that is affected by all energy, especially the sexual stuff.

Because it is.

Photo by Sabina Tone on Unsplash

For more self-study, The Urban Howl recommends Sacred Woman: A Guide to Healing the Feminine Body, Mind, and Spirit.

Sip a little more:

Grieve Dammit — It’s Inviting You Home

Be With The Ones Who Energetically Pull Us In Fiercely And Hold Us There Safely

Stop Meddling & Let Everyone Experience Their Own Way Home

dark naked sexy girl


Krissy VanAlstyne

Krissy VanAlstyne is a fiery force. One who shows up intimately transparent in her truth, inspiring others to do the same. She does so in her private life, through her writing, and in her heart's earthly work, as a Life Coach. Krissy offers soul-level support, and guidance to those aligning with their deepest truths, exploring their darkest shadows, and who are experiencing the painful dismantling that comes with awakening. She's a woman on a soul-driven mission, an invite back to all we have ever forgotten—that we are love, that we are truth, and that we are powerful beyond our wildest dreams. She knows we are all here for great purpose, and reminds us of this knowing in the mesmerizingly complex simplicity that she continues to stand in—the fire that is her. Find her on Facebook and Instagram.

  1. Pingback: I Know Your Soul, But Getting To Know The Human Part Confuses Me – The Urban Howl

  2. Every single time I read your articles and resonate before I realize it is from you. Thank you, for continuing to translate these divine messages.

  3. I think exactely the same because as an empath and hsp myself I have come to this awarness thru much pain in my relationships.

    And beginning to operate from this level is not easy to find people who
    feel the same way and protect their sexual energy and their bodies and share it with healthy people…I hope this shifts because the message “ lets fuck” I hear it in songs and almost everywhere…so many people are so drunk awarness wise that even those who pretend to be good at sex or “fucking” are actually a failure…and imature… like you say sex is soooo much more that penetration

    Thanks for sharing this extremely important message💜🙏

  4. Beautiful….beautiful! Such profound importance and depth in this topic that is so often not spoken about. Thank you for sharing in an authentic way. 💚💚💚

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