I’ve come to see that when I get to know someone, I can stumble a bit at the getting to know the human part of them — and instead, tend to connect quickly and deeply with their soul and heart, above all else.
This is an amazing gift to have but I can see now how that part of me has gotten me into trouble, too, so I felt it something to share, as I’m sure I’m not alone in this.
Seeing someone so damn deeply means we see past the stuff that does — and will — hurt us. In short, we literally see past the pain that lives in people.
And why is that something for us to bring awareness to? Great question, read on!
I’m no stranger to pain, and perhaps this was also a part of what got me into trouble at some points (as I know it can be faced and healed out). But beyond that, I feel called to talk about an aspect that I have more recently come to see, and understand more in myself, than I have before.
When I connect with someone, I have this ability to connect to the divine truth in them — their soul, their true essence, their heart — and have not always stopped to get to know the human side that they are showing at the same time.
Now, what do I mean by the human side? Well, it’s the side that carries the pain lineage, basically.
The soul is pure love. The heart, pure love, too. And the way I see humans is we are made up of pure love, intertwined with layers of pain that is in the human body and also, as far as I see it, is a part of why we are here on earth now.
To clear it the hell out! To do our part in this huge heart-centered, consciousness shift that is happening.
The way I see it is that the root of all “evil” is unresolved pain. This is a simplified version of things, that I have come to embrace.
When we move from love, we do not create pain, we are creating healing in the world around us.
When we move from pain, we will project our pain into this world for us to be able to see the shit and address it.
“Evil” or anything that is unloving, will have pain at its base, as the root cause. Because it’s the pain that drives any human to do unloving things. It blinds us from our sacred truth, our divinity, and allows us to then treat anyone or anything outside of us as less than divine too.
So, to slow down and move with intention with the ones we are getting to know will not only help us to choose our suffering wisely, but it will also allow for me to ensure I keep my light as bright as I can to keep shining on the truth of all of this.
Pain that is in us or someone we are getting to know, is not a bad thing — the part that I now see as a golden ticket. However, how responsible with their pain are they? What do they do with their pain? How willing is the person to be with it when it surfaces? To heal it out of their energetic body and the lineage it came from, so as not to continue to be in pain and project it onto us — and into our relationship — as the poison that it is.
How willing a person is to do that will measure how safe I’d feel and willing I’d be to stick around with them in support of their process. Refusing to take responsibility for your pain is like saying, I’m okay in pain, and okay with hurting you with it too.
And I don’t know about you, but for me, I’ve done enough of my really painful work. I’ve suffered enough at the hands of the ones who claimed to love me to really address what in me needed that. And I’m now ready to be loved, not be a dumping ground for pain that is looking to be loved. Big difference!
The owner must love the pain to heal it — we just cannot do that. So, I am choosing people from a whole new space of awareness now, when it comes to what I know intimately about pain, and how it works.
Being empathic, we can want to take on someone else’s shit, and we need to be wise enough to not — and to also see with all three eyes open, their ability to own and heal it or not.
And if they are not able to do that, this is when our karmic ties with that person are to be cut by us. Unless we are still in a place that we need them to keep showing us their pain, in order to feel ours, because let’s be honest here — that is exactly how it all works.
Painful relationships are a dance between two people to see the pain in each of them that the relationship itself will highlight, in some crazy and equally beautiful ways.
So, if we no longer want painful relationships, then we need to get really honest with self, and start moving into the pain that exists in them, seeing that the pain that exists, and is coming from the contributors of these relationships — the individuals involved.
What is yours?
What is theirs?
With practice, we can then skillfully place pain back in the owner’s hands. Once that is done, then we can see who is actually able to own their pain that they are in, and no longer cast it onto the other.
This is where I see huge expansion shifts happen in relationships. It’s the space where we stand up and say yes to either continuing in pain alongside someone or yes to a different path that comes with a less painful effect.
So, if you’re feeling the awareness to want to be in less pain and more love, then get busy with the intention to meet the pain within you, heart-on. It’s either that or we carry that shit to the next partner, and the next partner and the next — where resolve isn’t actually happening, but highlighting that the pain exists within.
Take your time getting to know people, watch how they feel to you, and watch how we feel around them, too. And when we feel any ounce of them or us being unloving (those painful energetic jabs that show up in us), that’s the space for us to be like — pain! I see you, I feel you. Now we can ensure that we place it with its correct owner so that we can release it from the person’s lineage and cellular space it currently lives in.
If you ask me, this is a huge part, if not our mission here on earth as a human — to harvest and resolve the pain energy that lives within. Enabling the soul to shine through, in its full glory, when we do.
For more self-study, The Urban Howl recommends Courage: The Joy of Living Dangerously
Sip a little more:
Sensitive Soul, Your Sexuality Is Sacred — Be Careful Who You Exchange Energy With
Grieve Dammit — It’s Inviting You Home
Be With The Ones Who Energetically Pull Us In Fiercely And Hold Us There Safely
For more of Krissy’s word-medicine, follow her on Instagram.
Pingback: Sweet Change — Reveal Attachments, Expectations & The Wounds That Are Unhealed – The Urban Howl