By Krissy VanAlstyne MIND RISE

Love Your Ego & Set Yourself Free


The ego, when out of balance, is the one who thinks it knows better for someone else’s journey.

The ego, when out of balance, is the one who needs to be energetically pushy.

The ego, when out of balance, is the one who thinks that domination is power.

The ego, when out of balance, is the one who shows up looking for a fight.

To be right. To be heard, at all costs.

To limit an experience of embodied wholeness with its unwillingness to budge from its often one-sided and narrow-minded perspective.

The ego is our drive. It’s our call to action — brute force — and it is a beautiful thing. It also, like many parts of us, can get out of line, too.

But we can bring this part of us into balance in so many cool ways and use it as the magical tool that it really is, but hasn’t always been seen or used as.

The ego loves to run the show. But we can choose for that not to be our course of action and instead, listen to its wondrous and often boisterous child-like need to create more drama than necessary. We can let it know that we hear it, but aren’t always going to agree with it or allow the tantrums it wants to kick up. At least not publicly anyway. It can go to its room and cry shit out all it needs.

Our un-integrated and unaware sense of ego can ruin many beautiful things with its sometimes unruly ways, but we have all the power to see and manage that differently if it calls to us.

The ego fascinates me.

Some of us are learning to develop it. Some of us have a strong developed one. Some of us let it run the show. Some of us don’t. Some of us don’t even realize what it is or what it’s even doing — or even what it looks like to really be with it.

We are all learning and our ego is such an important aspect to our learning and experiencing life.

In this new space of consciousness, we focus a lot on our soul and our heart’s expansion and very little time and effort seems to be spent with our egos expansion.

For some, that may feel cringe-worthy. Why on earth would we want a bigger ego?

Not bigger, but more expansive. More useful to an embodied journey. More understood and used as a magical tool for our unfolding.

I feel like the ego has been cast away as a bad part of us, that it isn’t worthy of love but rather something to condemn. And since the ego is very much a part of us, we are then seeing part of us as fragmented and not part of a beautiful whole.

The ego, just like our inner child, need not be told it’s bad or be ignored or judged harshly when it arrives, but welcomed with a curiosity that can expand our use of it and allow for us to integrate it in a way that truly serves.

If we aren’t loving every aspect of self then we are blocking our energetic flow. And when we have kinks in the current, that’s where our magic isn’t cranked to its max.

Is there room to love the once thought unlovable part of us that is known as our ego? I feel so.

I honestly am falling in love with my ego. She’s a serious lady who doesn’t take shit from anyone and she helps me to see where I need to place boundaries, speak up or even where it’s best to be silent, too.

She firmly calls me to take action. And I love that.

She gets shit done and drives me forward and toward things she knows I’m best to be with or see.

It is my choice to learn how to listen to her and to discern, with her input, my highest calling at all times. And in moments, choosing her voice as the one that is best, is a gorgeous thing.

So, ego, thank you for being with me and for helping me to unfold the way that I am.

I love you. I honour you. I choose to work with you and every other aspect of my inner team.

Together we learn the value of team-work.

I, as a whole experience — the overseer of each piece of me — move willing to facilitate and guide each part within. Blending the strengths and weakness together which creates more power and a more whole embodiment of my soul-in-a-human-body, earthly experience.

It’s like fitting all our beautiful puzzle pieces together to create the perfect artistic version of self.

So, let’s give our egos a hug today. It works hard for us. Its intention is not to work against us, but for us — and with our awareness, we can guide that process to beautiful spaces.

Maybe it’s time to show our ego some serious love and like everything that we bring love to, it too will naturally relax a bit and shift its internal energy to a more serving space, all on its own.

Photo by Victor Hughes on Unsplash

For more self-study, The Urban Howl recommends Courage: The Joy of Living Dangerously.

Sip a little more:

Sweet Change — Reveal Attachments, Expectations & The Wounds That Are Unhealed

I Know Your Soul, But Getting To Know The Human Part Confuses Me

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Krissy VanAlstyne ego


Krissy VanAlstyne

Krissy VanAlstyne is a fiery force. One who shows up intimately transparent in her truth, inspiring others to do the same. She does so in her private life, through her writing, and in her heart's earthly work, as a Life Coach. Krissy offers soul-level support, and guidance to those aligning with their deepest truths, exploring their darkest shadows, and who are experiencing the painful dismantling that comes with awakening. She's a woman on a soul-driven mission, an invite back to all we have ever forgotten—that we are love, that we are truth, and that we are powerful beyond our wildest dreams. She knows we are all here for great purpose, and reminds us of this knowing in the mesmerizingly complex simplicity that she continues to stand in—the fire that is her. Find her on Facebook and Instagram.

  1. This is a great article of yours too.

    Because I feel the same way in my experience with my ego.

    Sometimes when she gets to loud it causes me pain and I end up discovering different angels of a situation that I think is causing me so much inner discomfort…many associate ego with our inner wounded child…yes that’s true…and sometimes what is being triggered in our ego by something or someone does not mean it is wrong and we should keep it in check …ego sometimes calls for action and expansion when our past wound of feeling minimized or accepting the unacceptable is triggered…in this way my ego is very helpful not something to be cast of

    Thanks so much for sharing this 💜

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