BY JENN FUNK

Have you ever met a man who speaks the language but has zero masculine energy, isn’t consistent, deflects, and refuses to be challenged?

Hundreds of times now I’ve heard a woman say, “I’ve met my conscious man!” — only to discover later that while he was far more spiritual than the average guy, he didn’t show up in real life under pressure any better.

It’s an easy thing to do to confuse “spiritual” with “conscious,” and maybe that’s what you actually mean or think about when using the term.

What I mean when I use the term and the qualities that all the women I work with tell me they’re looking for are:

He has the ability to stop and listen
He doesn’t need excuses
He does what he says every time
He can hold space, but he’s not a doormat
He can make decisions and take action when the pressure is on

The more I work with men, the more I’ve experienced incredible conscious masculine energy in men who don’t speak using “spiritual” language. Many of them wouldn’t call themselves spiritual, even though that’s how I experience them.

And on the other side of that are the men who describe themselves as spiritual, but who turn out to be a mess when emotions get high or the pressure cooker of life gets dialed up.

Maybe the guy with crystals dangling on his wrist is just a different version of the guy with truck nuts hanging off his hitch? If you need to loudly broadcast the kind of man you are, can you really be that centered, comfortable, and confident in your masculinity?

I’ve seen conscious masculine energy in real time and it’s not the men most women are looking at.

He doesn’t have to do yoga or meditate to be conscious. The man you’ve been waiting for might not “look” like you think.

If your “man picker” instincts have led you in the wrong direction and you’d like a better way of telling if the man you’re getting to know will impress you more after two years than he does after two months, contact me and I’ll recommend the best resources specific to your situation.

This article was originally published on What Evolved Women Want and is reprinted here with permission of the author.

Photo by Indian Yogi (Yogi Madhav) on Unsplash

For more self-study, The Urban Howl recommends The Universe Has Your Back: Transform Fear to Faith.