BY CHRISTIE DEL VESCO
The most powerful life force on the planet — call it love, call it God, Source, The Divine, The Universe — has only one purpose. Like the ocean, its purpose is to simply move.
As energetic beings, we have two choices, we either allow our energy to move or we hold on to the barriers to that movement.
Life, love, moving through us is a constant cleansing and clearing process. Simply allowing the free-flowing movement will keep us healthy, vital, and young.
Resisting the free flow of life is like resisting the massive waves of the ocean. By not feeling every single emotion that is stirred in you, you become a dam, a high, thick brick wall of stuck stuff, a literal blockage of the oceanic movement of life.
Life, love, seeks to change nothing.
It simply moves.
Holding onto the past, our trauma, our sadness, our anger, our shame, our fear, even memories of happiness, anything from the past, stops energy from moving, creating a dam of history impeding the free-flowing movement of the present moment.
The energy, life, love, that constant movement, is right now.
Movement can only be a present action.
Being fully with that action means to be fully present in what is the only truth of right now.
I was recently waiting at a red right light that had just changed to green. In typical Miami fashion, if cars don’t go in the instant the light changes, a symphony of horns will erupt.
As I witnessed this, wondering why the ruckus with no movement, I saw a gorgeous iguana confusedly trying to free himself of the chaos of the traffic surrounding him. At the same time, the pressure of the honking cars overtook the driver at the front of the line.
She hit the majestic creature.
His insides gravely injured, yet his brain still desperately trying to save his own life, he ran into the next line of traffic, hit again, then bolted in front of the third line where he took the final critical blow, movement ceased, life ended.
I witnessed all this, wide-eyed, in silent prayer, whispering quietly to myself, “No. No. No. No.”
Telling myself this just happens, there was nothing I could do, I simply turned on my radio and started back to driving, ignoring the deeply disturbing death that I’d just witnessed.
Pretending not to feel my heart pounding in my ears and the adrenaline coursing through my veins. Attempting to focus on the lyrics of the song playing. Trying desperately to dissociate, to use the lifelong coping mechanism I learned as a child through every horror I’d ever witnessed.
Not able to get the vision out of my mind of the iguana running through traffic with his intestines trailing behind his body, a tear escaped my eye while I tried frantically to focus on singing the song that was on the radio.
In that moment, I recognized the feeling of life seeking to live me, to give me a rich, full, complete experience.
I felt the flow pushing me to be fully alive, to feel all that is here to feel, to embrace the sadness, anger, and grief, all the completely normal feelings of living, and I felt my horrified resistance, building a dam to the flow, trying to block it out and just sing the song.
Recognizing the reality of my resistance, knowing I deserved to be free of the vision of the bloody animal and that life was trying to help me do that, I pulled my car onto the shoulder of the road.
There I started screaming.
“NO! NO! NO!”
“I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry!”
“I love you!”
“I’m so sorry!”
Hysterical tears, ecstatic release, movement allowed, life living through me until I was completely free of the past and returned to the quiet, peaceful moving presence of the now.
Realizing clearly, I am an energetic being.
Knowing energy either moves or it is stuck.
Health, love, life, moves.
Disease, fear, death, stops, is still, becomes stagnant, creates blockages to the free-flowing movement that is life.
Most of us have to be brought to our knees to acknowledge the lifelong dam inside of us. How, instead of living, we are dying a little more every day, holding on to the past in excruciating resistance to an entire ocean of life trying to move through us.
In that realization, we then take on the momentous task of dismantling the dam brick by brick.
In this human form, I have one job, that job is to simply allow.
Remove my dam.
Make slow sweet love to every brick of my resistance until it dissolves into the free-flowing sands of moving time.
Life seeks to live you.
Just simply get out of your own way and let it.
For more self-study, The Urban Howl recommends The Desire Map: A Guide to Creating Goals with Soul.
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