BY R. JADE MCAULIFFE

I wasn’t ready
and neither were you
our wounds still open
the grieving not through.
A meeting of hearts
both healing yet raw
holding our breath
to avoid the pitfalls.
I looked at you smiling
attempting to free
the lighthearted one
that you asked me to be.
Everything’s changed
it had to, I know
I’d hoped for connection
in spite of it, though.
Our talk, it stayed small
and walls straight and tall
left no room for comfort
or closeness at all.
Camped on my island
the feeling was strong
that it was too much
and I didn’t belong.
I sensed my presence
was painful for you
as was seeing her face
as I entered the room.
Wish I wasn’t broken
or bleeding or blue
I want to be light
and easy for you.
This is my journey
and though it won’t be
the one you have planned
it is just right for me.
So in our sweet time
we’ll remember the love
that brought us together
is waiting above.
She won’t let us down
and hears when we cry
now closer than ever;
no need for goodbye.

Photo by Marc Schaefer on Unsplash

Click on this link to purchase a copy of R. Jade McAuliffe’s book, “Wake Me from the NIGHTMARE: Hope, Healing, and Empowerment After Suicide Loss”

For more self-study, The Urban Howl recommends The Universe Has Your Back: Transform Fear to Faith.

Sip a little more:

Suicide Grief: Just Say It — And Talk Until You’re Blue In The Face

Suicide Grief: Piecing Together Shards Of Shattered Hearts

Confessions Of A Grieving Co-Dependent, Who’s Now With Her One True Love

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