The “whore” in me “woke up” last night.

She took me to a dark place where I could sit and watch her movie, where she was the main character.

She possessed my thoughts and decorated my chest with mysterious heartbeats, pouring her fire on my belly, screaming “set me free.”

Her face full of flirty, fire-ish eyes and lustful lips trembling in the dark pool of her darkest desires.

She took my hand and invited me to look at her closer…

…she invited me to look at her desires and her dark fantasies as she stood naked in front of an invisible mirror giving her flesh pleasure.

She took me to her paradise…a dark space with dimmed lights…white sheets and black pillows.

She was barely dressed…a white and black cotton piece of soft lingerie slightly exposed her delicate breasts and the bottom of her crotch leaving room for mystery and fantasy to guess what and how it looked down there.

She is a flirt, unashamed of her nakedness and sovereign in her sexuality.

Though she is explosively interested in satisfying and deeply nourishing sex, she chooses her lovers carefully, listening to the wisdom that runs through her fire and passionate desires.

She doesn’t accept just any man in her space. The younger girl in me did so in the past. But make no mistake. The “whore” inside each woman is wise. She knows what she likes and needs and she goes for not less than that.

She chooses the “right” man for herself. She can smell his skin and know if he is for her or not.

She can look into his eyes and understand if he can grasp her essence and if he can turn her on or not.

She can look into a man’s heart and understand if he can be open to her mysterious, often explosively silent and at times very loud sexual/sensual energy. If he can celebrate and worship her pussy-altar where her desires are like meditative objects and her sexuality like sage that purifies her and his soul through diving into deep the ocean of pure pleasure.

Image courtesy of Ilda Dashi

“The whore” is found at the center of your being.

It’s an archetype unlike any other, and often misunderstood or mistaken for the “prostitute,” but they are quite different.

In my own understanding, in my own journey of self-exploration in regard to my erotic and sexual self (which, by the way, is a slow, long, and oftentimes

very uncomfortable process), I am discovering that this “whore” within me is a complex form of sexual and sensual energy that manifests herself without shame. With total abandon, free in pursuing her most satisfying form of pleasure, be that teasing, foreplay, touching, penetration, seducing, playing, and more.

This archetype is present in each woman whether we accept it or not. Whether we acknowledge her presence or not.

One thing I can say from experience. Whether we give her a voice to speak or not, she will make herself visible, she will rise up when we least expect it and she will have her say.

She represents a deep craving and need within each of us. How we want to be sexually fucked, worshiped, desired, and held in the dark, mysterious, sometimes frightening ocean of sex and sexuality.

She won’t back off. She will begin to manifest herself in the forms she chooses and it won’t be an easy road sometimes.

But her presence and her freedom are required for the spirit to be fully integrated inside and outside.

We are so absorbed in “spiritual terminology” we forget we have flesh and bones and wild animals that live within our being.

My aim here is to acknowledge all these complex, not-so-comfortable forms of energy and honor them and get intimate with them.

It has taken me a long time to come to this point of acknowledging my inner “whore” and becoming aware of other forms of manifesting herself.

I am starting to like and accept her. Because she is my way to complete inner freedom from past wounds and childhood traumas.

She is my ally. No matter how uncomfortable she feels to me sometimes. She is pure pleasure in all ways and I love to feel pleasure. Pleasure connects us with our core/essence.

So why not become aware of the whore within and see her and embrace her? As we embrace many other parts of our being.

Take your time.

Because accepting ourselves fully happens in layers…and each layer needs a season to be absorbed and fully digested. Accepting ourselves fully, radically, and with bold, brutal honesty is the most difficult thing in the world.

I had to think many times before I decided I wanted to publish this piece. But you know what? I am tired of masks. I am tired of not being fully myself, radically my own self.

Raw in my self-expression, wrapping myself up with each word and each sentence, because they are my truth.

Photo by Andrey Zvyagintsev on Unsplash

For more self-study, The Urban Howl recommends Sacred Woman: A Guide to Healing the Feminine Body, Mind, and Spirit.

Sip a little more:

She Is Like A Dark Goddess, The Wild Woman In Me

Love Addiction Is Real & I Am In Its Puzzling Grip

Celebrate Your Self-Pleasure, Wild One & Let Your Sexuality Be Part Of Your Spirituality