Love has always been a matter of tragedy in my life. I have never dated just for the sake of a one night stand or a fling. Each time I chose to say yes to a relationship it was always a matter of conscious choice and for an eternal love.
But each time, I remember suffocating as I watched the dreams I believed in crumble to the floor like sawdust on a hot day. As the other party would walk away with no looking back, I was the one fighting voices which were screaming, “not enough,” “unworthy.” I would choke in puzzling sadness and indescribable pain as my hopes were washed away.
Many times I remember wishing I could stay tucked in bed and never open my eyes to this world’s emotional misery. I’ve stood alone and barren, rocking myself to sleep in between the shallow nights and the endless streams of tears. Suddenly, I was left naked in a world where judgments rule. I was being sentenced to a ‘cheap life’ without anybody fighting the lies to which I would never measure. Very few could remind me of who I was and why I was here.
Because when women like us love, we love by choice. We love to love eternally and we are the most loyal and dedicated counterpart you will ever find. We’ll treasure our body like a temple just for you, the one. But when the one becomes two, three, four — then women like us, we just shut down and we believe no more. Those men who come with promises are the same who leave with no sense of ownership to whatever dreams we shared.
Women like us are to be loved and cherished because we are like precious pearls. Women like us are dressed in courage and have a grateful heart for every pain life inflicts.
Women like us have had to find excuses for unending silence and constant absences, and accept apologies we never got. Women like us stand tall in dignity when every nook and cranny of our heart is burning down to ashes. Women like us wake up to new suns after having walked the cold sand of the night wrapped in the most silent despair.
Women like us can be broken, many times, but women like us can’t be dispossessed of the most sacred part of ourselves. Women like us are neither cheaters nor liars, all that we are is about faith and resilience. Women like us choose to believe in the invisible hopes, choose to speak the unspoken truths, choose to fight battles with no names, and choose to love ourselves.
Women like us want to be seen for who we are. We are raw and whole and we will choose you no matter your flaws because we not only love you now. We have loved you before you could even love yourself.
We have seen the whole of you and we have chosen to love the men you were then, the men you are now, and the men you shall be. We are that powerful and this is why we are never really broken. We are constantly re-birthed because within us flows the Amritam.